Sports Narrating Enthusiast T-Shirts

I never knew you were a sportscaster. That takes me way back. What do you mean? The year was 1943. I had a hot, torrid, steamy love affair with a young Howard Cosell. I knew he was destined to be a sportscaster. The man had a strange habit of narrating a play-by-play of all our intimate moments. It almost never pays to ask you to elaborate, Sadie. "And there's his chance! Howard goes in for a first kiss!" ... Odd man.

"Now we move over to the sports desk."

"... It's just that, when you said you had a couple of tickets to see the big game..."

'You can all relax and resume your game. The unattended bag discovered on the infield turned out to be the second base.'

'We went generic. The players' salaries are affordable.'

'But he's supposed to tell everyone how much you weigh! '

For the Wilsons, Gold Medalists Los Angeles '84, bathtime was always a ritual.

Jose Mourinho & Roman Abramovich Caricature.

'The English player has hit the net more times than the entire England team in the football World Cup!'

"Remember—we're not Eagles fans or Patriots fans. We're Tom Brady Somehow Gets Humiliated fans."

Footballer kicking his own brain.

'And remember...no sudden moves in the shoot out.'

"Your Honor, I have a rebuttal witness."

'And now for my William Tell shot.'

Glenn Hoddle

'I'd do better if I knew all the words you know!'

"...and how do you feel about being labelled the new Great British hope?"

"Of course my main concern is how the situation in Eastern Europe will affect the pennant race."

"Holly and Michael were growing envious of their son's imaginary friend… Rickey and me are going to the Knicks game with Bruce Springsteen!"

Free Speech has heavy price.

'That time of year, eh Ben, don't know whether to go hunting or fishing?'

'You're SURE that you've played water polo before?'

"Just to set the record straight, I'm leaving you because you never turn your body to the net, you don't have a smooth swing, and because your forehand, backhand, and volley are inadequate!"

Organically Grown Athlete - Guaranteed free of chemicals.

Group showers. Just one of the reasons few golfers take up football.

"..common sense has prevailed, Michael Owen's agent has let the referee off with just a severe warning."

'Well, here's your answer, Schluman. How can I possible promote you to district sales manager if you can't even palm a basketball?'

'Agreed then? Your boy takes a dive in the fifth...'

"I must have hit 20 home runs!"

'Reckless Rick has already lost three matches this year, but rumor has it that he's looking for a new writer...'

Extreme Bowling.

You Don't Know What It's Like

'Please cover for me Carol. I'll be away from my desk, roaming the cubicles, searching for sports talk.'

"The match fixers are making it a bit obvious."

'The entire team is lethargic. Tell the athletic trainer to whip up a cure.'