Sports Mishaps Appreciator Pillows

The thrill of sliding safely into third on astroturf...the agony of your pants not doing it with you.

Coach to football players: 'And no cuddling!'

'Yes, Jenny, I know I'm always reminding the team to be good sports, but you really don't have to thank the ref after every call.'

Zdeno Chara

The Rugby Throw Up.

"Okay...just this once...but no more practice swings!"

"Misery, torment, N.Y. football"

Discus accidents.

OPERATING ROOM, 'Your husband may have a little trouble sleeping for awhile -- we spilled some coffee in him.'

A football referee accidentally shoots his starting pistol in his pocket.

"You butt dialed me 187 times in less that an hour, dad."

'So you're the referee who had the courage to call a Technical Foul on Bobby Knight.'

'And remember: when introduced to the other team's captain, make direct eye contact and give a firm handshake...'

"Sit! Heel! Stay! Give me the darn ball!!" "Ball dogs – bad idea"

"I understand you were involved in a golf mishap this morning!"

Victim support

A little green monster

Fall Rocks/Deer Crossing

"There's no way I would ever let my boys play football...it's just too dangerous....!"

"Oh, Oh, it looks like they've had a little trouble with the hand-off in lane three."

Football League: Concussions R US.

Golf course

"I'd feel more comfortable if you'd use diplomacy."

'I never played baseball, football or soccer. . . I grew up in the 'concussion era'.'

"Good heavens! Who hooked you up? This one is cable TV!"

'Lost your ball in the rough? Larry, this is bowling!

Brains on the field.

'Players treat me with a lot more respect since they found out I'm a retired colonel.'

'Look here Frobisher, you've adhered to the rules. You haven't cheated, self-aggrandised or whined about money. That's rather unsportsmanlike of you.'

'Oops sorry, but it is such a big target'

Golfer on Football Pitch