Sports Gamblers Pillows

'Oh yeah, your dad might be on 4-1 in this afternoon's race, but mine is on 3-1!'

The deadly sport of cobra staring contests.

"Things got heated with the Morgans. I may have wagered our car. You're up."

How I met your mother

Can I go to the Computer Tennis Camp?

'This may be an old computer, but it won the March Madness office pool again and wants the money deposited in its Swiss bank account.'

Post Game Day Betting.

-Psst! Back me in the 4:30! -Oh! -Surprised I can talk, huh? -No, surprised you think you can win!

'Today's Odds' sign above a copier showing various odds for machine's malfunctions

'Okay, maybe I was defeated for re-election, but at least I beat the point spread!'

"I carefully examine the data for March madness brackets and every year I lose to Anita, who picks by uniform colors."

"Oh boy! I've won the- "

"Hey Kevin! Care to enter the office football pool!"

Despite his perfect 'Poker Face'. the others always seemed to know when Toby had a good hand...

"He's been up all night and fell asleep at the wheel."

"I'd get out of the volatile, capricious, irritating stock market. . . but I might miss out on further gains."

"Would you please come with us, Sir?!"

You need to start formulating a plan to secure your financial future.

Running With Scissors Marathon

I've never seen anyone so confident about a race!

Stock Market - "I suggest you buy Acme Chemicals."

'...here are this week's lucky fur balls.'

"In the ring, kid. We want you to take a fall in the ring."

IRS AUDIT DEPARTMENT, 'It's a bet -- if I don't take the next one down, I owe you a hundred bucks.'

'My office is boarded up. Why do I get the feeling my boss is still made at me for beating him at poker over the weekend.'

'Hang on a minute, Mother...why does your care plan include me 'popping to the bookies' for you?'

Inventing the roulette wheel.

'What's the odds on Cheltenham going ahead?'

'Well, Dad said he'd take me to the zoo, but the only animals were horses running around a track!'

Gamblers Anonymous: 'Betcha I recover before you do.'

'He's a cro-magnon -- you owe me five bucks!'

Fantasy Football Betting Pool