Sports Enthusiast At Heart Pillows

'I won't be coming to church any more, Reverend -- I've decided to convert to golf.'

'I'll make my final decision on that promotion of yours, after this game.'

"Portrait of a Lady"

"Still, diving for it would look good on my college application.

Oscar would laugh whenever he recalled his empty existence before golf.

'Another expectant father looking forward to paternity leave.'

'Look around, son. See if there's one you like. But remember: These are abandoned players, unwanted by their teams - so they might come with some psychological baggage.'

'What distance! Pity it wasn't the hammer!'

'I'm not abandoned. I'm a free agent.'

"Lordy, I am such a klutz!"

"Good game, good game, nice game, namaste, good game, nice game ..."

"Lautrec or Gary? Hmmm... We'll take Gary."

'Originally he was the mascot until we discovered he had a golden foot.'

Football Chameleon

If nobody had invented graphics

"I always forget what an expert I am in curling."

'We need you to get onto those high balls coming over'

A day at the transgenic races

A married couple share the same pole vault.

'Fancy a game of five-a-side, boys?'

Gary turns 40.

Saving a Heart

"You'll have to help out here more. I pulled a hammy jumping over the moon."

"Let's get ready to bumble!"

Bobby's pitching coach told him to put some stank on the ball.

Race track - with the race being to apply the white lines between lanes

'Yes! The momentum's going to shift now. Our home fan is starting to make some noise!'

"How should we divide the teams?"

Ratminton