Sports Education Pillows

"With great power comes zero responsibility."

A Puppet Named Juan

"Ya know, 'DUH' can be a very hurtful word."

"Do you want to play doctorate?"

It is important to give your dog opportunities to play with people.

Monster Baseball. The team's continuing to have some problems this season. Jekyll is good one day and bad the next. Dracula only shows up for night games. The Mummy is always covered in bandages and on the injured list. And King Kong can't keep his mind on the game --- Whenever he sees a pretty woman, he climbs up into the stands after her! At least Frankenstein has been pitching great again, just like when he was young! Yeah, he has a completely new arm!

"Of course he's smiling. He's getting $15,000 to give a lecture on free speech."

Hate Platforms

Adult Courses. It's so hard keeping the information from different classes separate! I'm talking film history and psychology. I failed a test because I said a "psychopath" is the walkway Norman Bates took home. I also confused geography and aeronautics. I said the "great plains" are located at an Air Force testing base in the California desert. My worst nightmare was confusing the thinks ti learned in driver's education and statistics. But at least I now know it's driving where you must st

Ethics exam cheater.

"Good game."

"Can I borrow the car keys?"

'Reading, writing and arithmetic are important, son. Someday you might sign autographs for money.'

'I'm reading aloud, Jeremy - My lips are SUPPOSED to be moving!'

"In high school, I was quite the star in metal shop."

'You may now turn over your paper and begin.' - 'Sir!' - 'Yes?' - 'What is it?' - 'I think Train 'A' and Train 'B' might be going to crash!'

'I have this fear of the real world...'

Computer Room.

Blue Stockings - Woman revealing herself as author

'Medical school's been more challenging since the cadavers turned into zombies.'

I've been teaching art history for decades. Students today ask new kinds of questions. No, I doubt a gluten-free menu option was available that evening. Nope, the artist was not making a statement about climate change. No, despite the umbrellas, this is not about sun exposure safety. Well, yes, I suppose you can say it's a selfie.

Scottish Football Fan - "...and please Lord, let the result be against the run of play."

"If a stock falls in the market, and it had no investors, does it really lose its value?"

Grad School Parent-Teacher Conference

'I'm glad you guys could work this out in a reasonable manner.'

"I've always dreamed of being on an academic team like this! It's great that we can all depend on each other!"

I like the Jets...I guess

Big Bang Theory.

"This is a great spot to practice mighty roars son..."

"Those aren't coconuts, they're tennis balls." "Sweet mother of Novak Djokovic!" The island of lost tennis balls.

'Wow! That was some world series, Ella! Both Pujols and Holland were just amazing...'

'Einstein, the children are getting too complex for me.'

'Hmph. College kids.'

Fear/Knowledge

"E=MC² Energy=Milk·Coffee²"