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The Las Vegas Oddsmakers

Little league world series of poker.

A day at the races

"And the winner is… Dan the Man by a nose!"

"You must be cheating - no one's that lucky!"

'According to this book, the casino has a slight edge in this game.'

'We need you to settle a bet -- was 'Twilight Zone' a sitcom or a documentary?'

-Sorry about yesterday, I was ill! -You didn't look ill when I saw you at the races! -You didn't see me after the fifth leg!

'Come on, I dare you: I say you can't drink a whole dew drop...'

'I don't like to take chances.'

'Oh yeah, your dad might be on 4-1 in this afternoon's race, but mine is on 3-1!'

"You keep an eye on our horse. I'm checking to see if the bookie runs off with our money."

"Blast, you've cleaned me out again!" Grey squirrels out competing red squirrel for food.

"Things got heated with the Morgans. I may have wagered our car. You're up."

'What do you mean - you 'LET him win'?'

How I met your mother

'What's the point of a bookmakers if there's nowhere left that sells books?'

'Oh no. Another major code violation decision.'

Destination casinos...

'This may be an old computer, but it won the March Madness office pool again and wants the money deposited in its Swiss bank account.'

Site of new Super Gamblers Anonymous.

'It's ok Billy . . .I won a bet with principal Jones!'

'Why do you always win at cards but not horses? I can't shuffle the horses.'

Horse five to win, unless they change the jockey.

Nostradamus.

Post Game Day Betting.

'Well, I can't find anything in the rule book about it.'

'I'll give five bucks to anyone showing me a fish more than ten inches long.'

A day at the races

'I told you she could get them all in under a minute. Now pay up.'

election polling

"Betcha can't hit the same spot twice in a row."

"Lady here wants to put £5 on Cambridge 'Each way'!"

'I think winning that last hand went to Bob's head, because he now has an entourage.'

-Psst! Back me in the 4:30! -Oh! -Surprised I can talk, huh? -No, surprised you think you can win!