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How I met your mother

Little league world series of poker.

A day at the races

-Sorry about yesterday, I was ill! -You didn't look ill when I saw you at the races! -You didn't see me after the fifth leg!

'Come on, I dare you: I say you can't drink a whole dew drop...'

"And the winner is… Dan the Man by a nose!"

"You must be cheating - no one's that lucky!"

'According to this book, the casino has a slight edge in this game.'

'We need you to settle a bet -- was 'Twilight Zone' a sitcom or a documentary?'

'I don't like to take chances.'

"You keep an eye on our horse. I'm checking to see if the bookie runs off with our money."

'Oh yeah, your dad might be on 4-1 in this afternoon's race, but mine is on 3-1!'

"Things got heated with the Morgans. I may have wagered our car. You're up."

"Blast, you've cleaned me out again!" Grey squirrels out competing red squirrel for food.

'What do you mean - you 'LET him win'?'

'What's the point of a bookmakers if there's nowhere left that sells books?'

'Oh no. Another major code violation decision.'

'Why do you always win at cards but not horses? I can't shuffle the horses.'

Site of new Super Gamblers Anonymous.

Destination casinos...

'It's ok Billy . . .I won a bet with principal Jones!'

'This may be an old computer, but it won the March Madness office pool again and wants the money deposited in its Swiss bank account.'

Horse five to win, unless they change the jockey.

'Well, I can't find anything in the rule book about it.'

Nostradamus.

Post Game Day Betting.

election polling

'I'll give five bucks to anyone showing me a fish more than ten inches long.'

'Okay, maybe I was defeated for re-election, but at least I beat the point spread!'

"Betcha can't hit the same spot twice in a row."

-Psst! Back me in the 4:30! -Oh! -Surprised I can talk, huh? -No, surprised you think you can win!

A day at the races

'I told you she could get them all in under a minute. Now pay up.'

'I think winning that last hand went to Bob's head, because he now has an entourage.'

"Lady here wants to put £5 on Cambridge 'Each way'!"