Sports And Politics Mixer T-Shirts

"... And I’m not saying he wouldn’t make a good president, but with a name like ‘Mitt Romney’ he’d make a better quarterback."

'Wow! That was some world series, Ella! Both Pujols and Holland were just amazing...'

A fight in the Boardroom.

Golfer to other: 'I've never seen anyone slice a putt before.'

"If you're really interested, talk to someone at corporate. They own my soul."

Major Bunker (who has been persuaded to join in a game of hockey for the first time, absent-mindedly preparing to drive). 'Force.'

Books and Phones

"Don't you think even if there'd been no John Cardner and no Comon Cause, we'd have found each other anyway?"

Nun reading 'Halo' magazine

'Relax, teamwork always leads to a slam dunk.'

"Whack him. And if you can't whack him, redact him."

'I heard a rumour that Age Concern may stump up some sponsorship.'

"Bretheren and Sistern out there in Congregational Land!"

Man holding up a cowboy with his TV remote control.

Dear listeners, Some troubling news. I have learned a special prosecutor wants to know the source for my scoop that Mitch McConnell has a crush on Dr. Pimple Popper star Dr. Sandra Lee. I will tell you this – I will never reveal my source. I'd sooner go to jail, as scary as that would be to my friends and family. Guess who's in the dating market again! Bad girl.

Vladimir Putin visits Xi Jinping for the Winter Olympics

"Where are you getting those notes from?"

HomeSec We Hardly Knew Ye

"I'll just sit here looking important - then no one will notice that I can't reach my desk."

"Football Pool"

"Blind loyalty, Gilliford, by God, that's a trait I like to see in a young man."

Turn this music off! Please. Thumpa thump … Thank goodness. This is insane. How can they combine a talk show with house music? Allow us to explain: To attract younger audiences, we, the media conglomerates, must communicate on their terms, on their wavelength. More media, multimedia, simultaneous media, streaming screaming gleaming screeching grinding mind-bending media! I'm going to kill something! You're playing into their hands. Thumpa thumpa thumpa.

'The fish and chips are very nice.'

Mild in the Streets

Library computer center: CYBRARIAN.

'Lost your ball in the rough? Larry, this is bowling!

Skeet Fishing.

The exciting new game of skeet golf.

'My break, isn't it, Lang?'

'It sort of makes the game more interesting.'

Shot Putt-Putt.

"Elections, elections, elections! I'm sick of it! If I could vote, I'd vote for someone who would ban nonstop coverage of elections."

Sepp Blatter

Wonderland Political Consultants. The election is coming up. Have you identified the undecided voters? Humpty Dumpty is still on the fence ... Goldilocks is looking for the candidates that's "just right" ... The Crooked Man isn't giving pollsters a straight answer, and Chicken Little is right wing on some issues and left wing on others. What about Cinderella? Every day she says she's made a choice but then at midnight she changes back.

Harper talks about Christmas