Sporting Spectacle Enthusiast Pillows

"The post-touchdown celebrations are getting out of hand."

I like the Jets...I guess

'I'll make my final decision on that promotion of yours, after this game.'

"Still, diving for it would look good on my college application.

'Another expectant father looking forward to paternity leave.'

'Just how big of a tailgate party are you expecting to have?'

'Look around, son. See if there's one you like. But remember: These are abandoned players, unwanted by their teams - so they might come with some psychological baggage.'

'What distance! Pity it wasn't the hammer!'

'I'm not abandoned. I'm a free agent.'

If nobody had invented graphics

"Lautrec or Gary? Hmmm... We'll take Gary."

Football Chameleon

'Originally he was the mascot until we discovered he had a golden foot.'

"Lordy, I am such a klutz!"

Saving a Heart

Race track - with the race being to apply the white lines between lanes

"Let's get ready to bumble!"

'Yes! The momentum's going to shift now. Our home fan is starting to make some noise!'

A married couple share the same pole vault.

Gary turns 40.

"How should we divide the teams?"

Ratminton

Bobby's pitching coach told him to put some stank on the ball.

'We need you to get onto those high balls coming over'

"You'll have to help out here more. I pulled a hammy jumping over the moon."

A day at the transgenic races

"I always forget what an expert I am in curling."

"Good news...I found a doctor who says you can still play!"