Sponsor Skeptic Pillows

The Sponsored Skier

Tennis players annoyed because cable TV has ruined their game.

Clyde thought “Atomic Sparklers” was just an ad gimmick

"You have to believe what you're doing will lead to something valuable, even though it probably won't."

"Everyone, please welcome our new VP of being promoted and paid lots more than you for no apparent reason!"

"You keep an eye on our horse. I'm checking to see if the bookie runs off with our money."

'If we're going to be the sponsor of a winter Olympic even, it should be the downhill.'

CATCHY NAME

Relay runners passing pictures to each other.

'I hate running in the outside lane.'

Next semester I have "The Frito-lay

Buy One Get One Free Sign Outside Shoe Shop

are you so alienated from any real form of community that you can no longer distinguish between belonging and conforming?

Recycling Depot - Magazines, Newspapers, Free CDs, books, 8 page pull-outs and other promotions

"Multi-level marketing!"

Corporate Advertising Agency: WEEKLY SCAM MEETING

Cash Rebate

"If my mother and father had wanted to see Yves Saint Laurent's initials on my possessions, one supposes they would have named me Yves Saint Laurent."

'Are you sure it's necessary to sign this part declaring 'all information is true and correct to the best of my knowledge'?.'

Your weight. See, it's up not down. I told you "thin crust" pizza did not mean it would magically slim you.

"...No, he can't really fly...no, the bad guys really don't have a ray gun...no, this cereal really isn't the best food in the whole world...no, it won't make you as strong as a giant..."

"The improvement is the higher price."

"It's flu season, so you'll probably get sick. To repeat: You... will... get... sick. And when you do, there's Helpaflu."

"On the web it clearly said, 'one mile from the beach'."

"Thanks to Trump, no one cares if we lie now in our advertisements or press releases."

"£38,000 in consultancy fees and 'sell more stuff' is the best you can manage."

"It's not as good a deal as it sounds - it's based on THEIR lifetime."

'When will you learn? You're only paying for the label!'

"I want a campaign that shows the brand's empathetic, inclusive and caring side - or you're all fired."

Boxing Sponsors - 'Pue' smelling salts.

Gulliver decided to stay in Lilliput and sign a lucrative contract for Long Distance Running.

"I'll write your a prescription for a medication that's been recommended in three out of four commercials."

Check out my new designer shades. $175? Mine look identical and I got 'em for $6 at the gas station. Identical? Ha! Hardly. Oh really? We'll see about that. Bring in the professional! Dear Reader, Today we introduce a new super hero: The Brand Name Differentiator! Using regular vision, he fearlessly saves everyday consumers. Hmm. Uh huh. I see. BD. Ordinary citizens, I declare a difference! Ah ha! these are more expensive. Oh, go stop a train with your face or something. Mr. Super-hero – are the

'It's not about winning or losing, it's about endorsements.'

"But cats love it in the commercials!" "They're acting!"