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Such Terrible News...and Such Small Portions

"Of course he's smiling. He's getting $15,000 to give a lecture on free speech."

"It seems my fear of death has been replaced by my fear of politics."

"You're losing the audience. Switch to the Powerpoint presentation."

'How fast can you hype?'

Hey, calm down --- Now, what did you say again?

'I have a plan 'B' but that's also dependent on a working projector bulb.'

Campaign for Plain English

Meet Stephen Krkzk Author of 'Why Conspiracy Theories Are Nonsense'

"If I might be serious for a moment..."

"How long will we, the descendants of wolves, be content with table scraps and belly rubs?"

"Class of 2008, never let the excuse 'I can't find my pants' stand in the way of your dreams."

Inclusive speech

"... And finally, I’d like to thank the FDA for approving Botox."

"I had a fear of speaking in front of people, which is why I shadow puppet and sing the lessons."

"National security adviser"

'Now THAT'S a presentation! Great delivery, great graphics, and he moonwalks from the room.'

It would be a painful forty five minutes before Arthur finally admitted he left his presentation at home.

Carmel Buildings, Portman Square: A temperance meeting.

Yomp Foundation Presentation committee: 'Don't let the gong intimidate you!'

"O.K., O.K., people - we're not workshopping these, they're already set in stone."

"Nervous about this morning's presentation?"

Dialogue

How to deliver a successful presentation.

"Any questions?"

'Complete sentences?? Jeez, how verbose can you get?'

'This guy loves giving stump speeches. Ironically, they're all against deforestation.'

Buisnessman Of The Hour - I'd like to introduce our guest but he is 45 minutes late

'So it's with a heavy heart that I leave you good people of St. Paul's and accept the calling to be minister at the Sunnydell Nudist Colony...'

"To save time, I'll just mention the people I’m not thanking."

Changing Minds

"Now that I can talk, here's my speaking fee."

"But I see you're having difficulty following my argument."

"And finally, I'd like to take any questions from the floor."

"I believe I can create a great presentation if I can only tap into my cognitive dissonance."