Spoken Word Lover Pillows

John Cooper Clarke

'I'll have the crab cake, and he'll have the crabby cake.'

Shakespeare does stand-up comedy in the round.

Wok. Don't Wok.

Vlad the Inhaler

Gay Times...

"Global warming is a great icebreaker."

"Ahhh....I think that was a flying fuck."

Rap music

"Someone throw him a punchline!"

"It feels good to unwind..."

Fishing for complements

"Dessert?""No thanks, I'm stuffed."

MLK

Alphabet soup gets cold for slow readers.

"This is a great school but it wasn't my first choice."

"That’s a toaster. It’s a tanning bed for bread."

A woman is as young as she feels like admitting to.

"I'm afraid he left everything to charity... Oh, I see. I take it your name's Charity?"

'It wasn't actually written by God. The Lord used holy ghost writers.'

Rabies on board - a couple of rabid babies.

"Did you just do a rooster?"

'Yes I'm sure we can find an opening for you, Mr Smith!'

'I think he would come back to earth if women would just stop kissing him.'

An infinity pool table

"Have you, or any of your acquaintances, ever been described as 'frolicsome'?"

'I'd put it on the back burner, but the stove's been repossessed.'

You are what you eat!

"My assistant will show you the ropes."

'Do it write the first time.'

"It all started when I read somewhere that happiness is an inside job. Naturally, I assumed some breaking and entering was involved."

"Oooh! I think I just felt our stock split."