Speech Lover Pillows

'Wow, excellent turnout.'

"I should now like to say something quotable."

MLK

'The new chairman is a great speaker - he just goes on and on.'

President Barack Obama

Barack Obama

'Vote for me. I'm ready, and willing. Two out of three isn't bad.'

'The inaugural address? It's sort of like an opening monologue.'

Listener's Corner.

"No, I can't say I ever actually caught one. But let's be honest, would any of us really want to?"

A Puppet Named Juan

"In the first place, it isn't "maddening crowd.' It's 'madding crowd.' "

"And the last little piggy cried, 'Oui, oui, oui' all the way home."

Solicitor speaks legal jargon and has a translator who tells client: 'You haven't a hope!'

"Waitress, have you smoked salmon..?"

"You haven't got dyslexia- the instructions are in polish."

'Darling I want you to remember this always,,,'

Thru versus Through Traffic

I will study my speling words...

"You'll love this. It's swarthy yet munificent, didactic and gregarious with hints of dogma."

Ban on Free Speech

Clown teaches how to speak Jibberish

Big Tex Silver Saddle Restaurant advertises 'BBQ, $10, Chatter in a Vanishing Regional Dialect $1.00 Extra.'

Inclusive speech

"You and your, 'why bother to learn another language. Everyone in the known universe speaks, Zarconian'!"

Punctuation Police

A Copy Editor and His Dog

Someone who knows apostrophes

Kid in class corrects teachers spelling.

Restaurant Francais: All you can pronounce £30.

What's normal?

"You've got to learn about verbs. How else are you going to verbalize your feelings?

"Damn - another letter to the editor."

"‘Extra vile old ox’? No, sir – it stands for ‘extra virgin olive oil.’"

Freind: 'Misspelled, anything helps.'