Spoiled Pet Humor Pillows

'We'd like something new and improved for dinner.'

"It get it – you're hungry."

'Shoot, this is nothing, you should have seen how good we had it back in ancient Egypt.'

Rusty, not believing in God, seized his chance...

"Fee-fi-fo-fum, I smell Thursday's gluten-free lasagna!"

'Just taking the dog for a walk, Dear.'

'Of course I'm being catty. How else do you expect me to act?'

"Do you recall the exact moment the balance of power shifted?"

"You are not going to the meet in the horse-box. The walk will do you good."

Pet Entertainers

Cat mistakes bars for toilets.

Feline Stand Up - 'Fetching...how dumb is that? And another thing I don't understand...what's with all that TAIL WAGGING?'

Armed dogs wait for hot dog vendor.

'If you must know, yes, I do sometimes fake purring.'

"I'm thinking sixty nine."

'The last guy I worked for kept me on a short leash.'

"Ask the gumshoe. He'll tell ya the saucer was empty when I got there. Go on, gimme a purr detector test. I got all night."

The Karate Kitten.

Cat Gets Hole in One.

"Right. Women adore him, men want to be like him, and YOU... well, you're hopeless. So, am I the ONLY one who sees through this guy?"

"If anyone should ask, I was in my doggy bed from 7 p.m. to midnight. Understand?"

'No need to shout.'

"Pampered?"

"FYI – your camel hair blazer started it."

"You're God-knows-where all day long, then at night you pounce on my head... this is not a relationship."

"Did you know that cats aren't mentioned anywhere in the Bible?"

'Other than no dognip or an indoor bathroom, I enjoy being a dog.'

'Will Work For Food, The Take, Like, Two Bites And Walk Away.'

'My hamster fell asleep at the wheel!'

"I, for one, refuse to just sit at the door pining for his return."

'Yes, having a powerful sense of smell is good, but I do wish Master would change his socks more often...'

"Looks like we'll be eating leftovers for a month!"

'Found your problem - there was a hairball in the gasline.'