Splashy Storyteller T-Shirts

'Steroids.'

"Did you sleep awkwardly again?"

"Hey grandpa, tell us more about the time you were in that Steven Spielberg movie."

"Sorry lad, ye can't be having' me pot o' toilet paper."

Fish talking about fisherman

'We're doing a fly on the wall documentary.'

"Hello, my name is Karl and I'm addicted to speaking to small groups of strangers."

'This court finds you guilty Mr. Jones. As your punishment, the bailiff here will slug you one.'

'Distracting the fish.'

'The country is awfully deep, but the falling is delightfully soft and safe'

How I met your mother

"Well, sir, it looks like things are getting pretty serious for Peter and Pauline."

Daughters at Bedtime

Pets in Attorney's office - 'The iguana gets everything.'

"I've finally finished my lockdown novel."

Water Slide

"This little piggy went to market, this little piggy drove the getaway car..."

'There's a little bit of my late husband in every glass - I used his ashes as a fining agent.'

Chicken Funeral Planning.

'This chicken has no taste or character.' 'I thought you wanted to eat it, not offer it a job.'

"Come with us to see the wizard. He can find you a brain!"

The Battle of the Pictures.

'I've written a poem describing my feelings on discovering the body, Inspector...'

'Miss Wilson, get on the web and find me everything on bottles!'

"Convicts selling novels from prison? At least that could never happen here, eh Jones?"

Centaur falls in love.

Water Studies - 'Look here, this is unreasonable, splashing about in the water like this... you are getting me all wet!'

Hog Futures

'We fed your application in, and the computer started leaking slime.'

'He said, but for you he wouldn't have stuck your credit card to the roof of his mouth in the first place...'

"I'm so glad you suggested we insert his heart on Valentine's Day!"

'Remember the book about the scary monsters, Honey? Well, your father's relatives can't hurt you, either.'

"It's just thrived since I let it have Harry!"

"We'll feel pretty silly if it's downgraded to a tropical storm."

Roger gets banned from the waterhole for a month