Splashy Storyteller T-Shirts

'Steroids.'

"Did you sleep awkwardly again?"

"Hey grandpa, tell us more about the time you were in that Steven Spielberg movie."

"Sorry lad, ye can't be having' me pot o' toilet paper."

Fish talking about fisherman

"Hello, my name is Karl and I'm addicted to speaking to small groups of strangers."

'We're doing a fly on the wall documentary.'

'This court finds you guilty Mr. Jones. As your punishment, the bailiff here will slug you one.'

'Distracting the fish.'

"Well, sir, it looks like things are getting pretty serious for Peter and Pauline."

How I met your mother

Daughters at Bedtime

'The country is awfully deep, but the falling is delightfully soft and safe'

"I've finally finished my lockdown novel."

'There's a little bit of my late husband in every glass - I used his ashes as a fining agent.'

"This little piggy went to market, this little piggy drove the getaway car..."

Water Slide

Pets in Attorney's office - 'The iguana gets everything.'

Centaur falls in love.

Chicken Funeral Planning.

"Come with us to see the wizard. He can find you a brain!"

Water Studies - 'Look here, this is unreasonable, splashing about in the water like this... you are getting me all wet!'

'This chicken has no taste or character.' 'I thought you wanted to eat it, not offer it a job.'

'Miss Wilson, get on the web and find me everything on bottles!'

The Battle of the Pictures.

'I've written a poem describing my feelings on discovering the body, Inspector...'

"Convicts selling novels from prison? At least that could never happen here, eh Jones?"

Hog Futures

"It's just thrived since I let it have Harry!"

'Remember the book about the scary monsters, Honey? Well, your father's relatives can't hurt you, either.'

'We fed your application in, and the computer started leaking slime.'

"I'm so glad you suggested we insert his heart on Valentine's Day!"

'He said, but for you he wouldn't have stuck your credit card to the roof of his mouth in the first place...'

"We'll feel pretty silly if it's downgraded to a tropical storm."

'Excuse me officer. I'd like to report a U.F.O. sighting!'