Spiritual Stock Market Sage Prints

Unchanged … and yet completely changed. Tao Jones Indexes.

"You seem troubled, Pastor. Is anything worrying you...I mean aside from the sins of the world, the vanity of humankind, man's inhumanity to man..."

"He was furiously reading the Bible before he died." "Looking for loopholes."

'Oh, yeah? -- Well, my true inner self can whip your true inner self!'

Chicken - "The Dow is falling...the dow is falling..."

"I'm not only a Guardian Angel, I'm also an expert at turnarounds."

"Pastor, may we share a message with you about humility?"

'Do you mean 'who cares what the meaning of life is,' or that 'who cares' IS the meaning of life?'

'You're my economic advisor. What'll I do?'

'How wonderful - the both of us in futures.'

"To mediate properly, you need a mantra. How about 'Ka-Ching'?"

'Come back in two months the meaning of life can change, depending if the market is bullish or bearish.'

"What do you mean, the market rallied?"

'Just this once, but I want a piece of the action.'

Bishop with a crozier case.

Grim Reaper leaning on scared trader.

"Sure your portfolio has taken a hit, but if you stay in the market for the long haul you'll be fine."

The church of our lady of wall street.

Wall St Baptist: 'Life is exactly like the stock market exchange and we each have our own portfolio to manage.'

"Before we discuss your loan, Mr Carlson, perhaps you'd like to spend a few moments with out bank chaplain."

'How am I supposed to meditate with your nose whistling?'

'Let's take a minute to allow the bad karma of the old regime to lift.'

Couldn't you have used a smaller font?

'To hell with everybody!' - 'Right on!'

'He's back on the ledge again! This time, he sold everything, and the market went back up.'

"I'd get out of the volatile, capricious, irritating stock market. . . but I might miss out on further gains."

R. Chones, Financial Counselor: On Vacation. Watch Suze Orman.

'Meaning of life, eh? -- Who wants to know?'

"'Buy low, sell high', is all I've figured out so far. Now go away"

"For the profits of which we are about to partake, we give thanks. Amen."

Buddha Statue: Buy Low, Sell High, Stay Diversified.

You can make a quick profit on that one, if you don't mind holding it for a couple of years

'I can't take all the credit. My childhood imaginary friend picked a lot of my stocks.'

'I don't really believe in Santa Claus anymore, but I don't want to disillusion my parents.'

'You don't want to go to hell, J.B. In hell, the market is always down.'