Spiritual Sprinkler Gifts

Vicar with three taps: hot, cold and holy.

"Soul searching? Yes, you could call it that."

'It's a nice idea. A bit rough around the edges but I'm sure it will evolve given time.'

'I hate to be so skeptical, but I still think the seance business is a hoax!'

"Christmas - what a fuss eh?"

"Ooh, ooh, I know this koan! I got it! Pick me! Pick me!"

'He who laughs last probably doesn't get it.'

"And these are the Fab Four Noble Truths."

"Oh, great - They changed the Meaning of Life again."

"Home depot."

"When you say the meek will inherit the earth, does that include the mineral rights?"

'You certainly have a well equipped workbench.'

"Tell her she's dead. I don't want to talk about the relationship."

"Honey, I’ve found God!"

“Dad, I think I’ve finally found Gsus.”

'Look, I never said salvation would be PRETTY!'

"In the same of the phone, the tablet, and the desktop computer."

Jesus's First and Less-Heralded Miracle Walk,

"I forget to drink."

'There is no past. No future. Only the present, which is changing every instant. Time is merely an illusion. Got it?'

'You must heal yourself.'

We're willing to flee temptation, if we can leave a forwarding address.

FAQs.

Madame Lucille - Fortune Teller 'I predict the future'.

"The Ususal, Mr. B?"

'Eve wants a second opinion about the apples.'

"Yes, alright! I know it's a small mountain... I'm only a novice oracle."

Christian and Born again Christian...

'We're drinking to our round of golf...one shot at a time.'

Proceed no further if chakras not aligned.

"Would you like to leave a message? He's on the throne"

The Path

'When we bought this place we thought we'd only be making wine. Apparently, we're also into spirits.'

"Did you have a cat?"

"I often consult with a higher authority... my grandmother."