Spiritual Sprinkler Gifts

Vicar with three taps: hot, cold and holy.

"Soul searching? Yes, you could call it that."

'It's a nice idea. A bit rough around the edges but I'm sure it will evolve given time.'

'I hate to be so skeptical, but I still think the seance business is a hoax!'

"Christmas - what a fuss eh?"

"Ooh, ooh, I know this koan! I got it! Pick me! Pick me!"

'He who laughs last probably doesn't get it.'

"Oh, great - They changed the Meaning of Life again."

"Home depot."

"When you say the meek will inherit the earth, does that include the mineral rights?"

'You certainly have a well equipped workbench.'

"Honey, I’ve found God!"

“Dad, I think I’ve finally found Gsus.”

"Tell her she's dead. I don't want to talk about the relationship."

"In the same of the phone, the tablet, and the desktop computer."

'Look, I never said salvation would be PRETTY!'

Jesus's First and Less-Heralded Miracle Walk,

"I forget to drink."

'You must heal yourself.'

"Yes, alright! I know it's a small mountain... I'm only a novice oracle."

Christian and Born again Christian...

Madame Lucille - Fortune Teller 'I predict the future'.

'Eve wants a second opinion about the apples.'

"The Ususal, Mr. B?"

'We're drinking to our round of golf...one shot at a time.'

Proceed no further if chakras not aligned.

The Path

"Would you like to leave a message? He's on the throne"

"Did you have a cat?"

'The good stuff is here, under the counter.'

"I often consult with a higher authority... my grandmother."

'When we bought this place we thought we'd only be making wine. Apparently, we're also into spirits.'