Spiritual Speedster T-Shirts

"It was bad enough learning to master the use of wings here but roller-blades must have been a nightmare!"

Radar Gun Readings at Baseball Stadium

Golfing Bishop.

A tortoise running along the side of the road, panting.

At the 2021 Religious Games

"I want to be straight with you, Cathy—I've gone through a number of cars in my life."

"Oh, oh, it seems they've had a little trouble with the hand-off in lane number three."

'Hey, wait for me!'

'Never, Ever...drive 56 mph on a 55 mph freeway in a sporty red convertible.'

Birthday Racing Car

'We're all getting older ok!' 'These days I'm down to the speed of sound!'

Man running

Car leaving highway crashes through 'EXIT HERE' sign.

"Sorry, eighty is not the new sixty-five."

"IBS isn't all bad. It was largely responsible for me winning 6 sprinting medals in college track."

'I hate running in the outside lane.'

"Emergency exits are located on both sides of the cabin...."

A souped up car...

"Mr. Evans, it's a speeding ticket. You can't plea insanity."

Driver at Grand Prix shooting another driver with the cork from champagne

'Hey! I just started my James Patterson novel and I'm on chapter 97!' 'You read 20 pages already?'

"They're perfect astronauts. Fast velocity followed by a long, slow pace."

"I'll bet you were good at making skid marks?"

Rolling Stop.

Arcarde Patrol

Priest's computer screen reads: 'e-confession. Please type 10 Hail Marys ... and no cut'n'paste ...'

"I did it Dad! I ran all the way home and beat the rain!"

"He's a super-calloused fragile mystic, hexed by halitosis."

Congratulations for male runner

"Before I start today's sermon let's take 5 minutes to view the highlights reel from the last 3 Sundays..."

Pit Stop for Track and Field