Spiritual Skydiver Pillows

Parachuting bishop.

"Ooh, ooh, I know this koan! I got it! Pick me! Pick me!"

"Oh, great - They changed the Meaning of Life again."

'Hey! Contemplate your own navel!'

Very Difficult Conversations

"I'm TRYING to extinguish my ego, but I feel so CONSPICUOUS up here!"

'I wonder why scuba divers always fall backwards off their boats.'

"I never dreamed we'd migrate."

'I think I just had an epiphany. How do I make it go away?'

'Truth is fine, but I really need marketable ideas.'

"You're kidding! You count S.A.T.s?"

'No, really, go ahead. You know me - I'm all about the journey, not the food pellet!'

'Don't be embarrassed ? when I first attained Nirvana, I wet my pants, too.'

'There is no past. No future. Only the present, which is changing every instant. Time is merely an illusion. Got it?'

"Do you have an appointment?"

'You're in luck. Business ethics is a gray area.'

"Wow, Jesus. That lesson rocked, someone should write this stuff down."

"Show off."

'What I've learnt sitting on this mountain, alone for ten years, is how boring sitting alone on a mountain for ten years is!'

"I asked my mother to pack my parachute and she packed my lunch instead."

"Really? a frikkin' math question?"

How's my enlightenment? Call 1-800-Nirvana.

The spirit in the wall would go on and ond, but Alvin never let it bother him.

'He hasn't been the same since the Goodyear blimp sneaked up behind him.'

All we have in life is this moment...

'Enlightenment-shmenlightenment - what I'm worried about is tenure!'

'Have you been working out?'

'No, I didn't get a presidential pardon, but I got something better. God has forgiven me.'

"The meaning of life, eh? Beats me... Let's google it."

"I cried because I had no shoes, till I met a man who had athlete's foot."

'Come off it-she only said the guys will be fighting over us because you said we lived UNDER a boxing club!'

"Oh, it's you, I'm glad I picked up.You wouldn't believe how many annoying telepathicmarketing calls I get."

Pastor puts up sign on pole stating that he is 'serving' his 1,000th sermon.

'I understand the Adirondacks are where it's REALLY happening.'

'One last thing. I want you each to wear these in the off chance that your reserve chute fails.'