Spiritual Runners Gifts

Jesus Feeds the 5K

"Ooh, ooh, I know this koan! I got it! Pick me! Pick me!"

"Oh, great - They changed the Meaning of Life again."

'Hey! Contemplate your own navel!'

"I'm TRYING to extinguish my ego, but I feel so CONSPICUOUS up here!"

At the 2021 Religious Games

"I never dreamed we'd migrate."

'I think I just had an epiphany. How do I make it go away?'

'Truth is fine, but I really need marketable ideas.'

'I'm into New Age. My new age is 26.'

"You're kidding! You count S.A.T.s?"

"You say I can move mountains? Right now,it's all I can do to turn over a new leaf!"

'Don't be embarrassed ? when I first attained Nirvana, I wet my pants, too.'

'There is no past. No future. Only the present, which is changing every instant. Time is merely an illusion. Got it?'

"Do you have an appointment?"

'You're in luck. Business ethics is a gray area.'

"Show off."

"Wow, Jesus. That lesson rocked, someone should write this stuff down."

'He hasn't been the same since the Goodyear blimp sneaked up behind him.'

'What I've learnt sitting on this mountain, alone for ten years, is how boring sitting alone on a mountain for ten years is!'

"Really? a frikkin' math question?"

How's my enlightenment? Call 1-800-Nirvana.

"Do you have pants in XL?"

All we have in life is this moment...

"I've accepted him as my personal trainer."

'Enlightenment-shmenlightenment - what I'm worried about is tenure!'

'Have you been working out?'

'No, I didn't get a presidential pardon, but I got something better. God has forgiven me.'

"The meaning of life, eh? Beats me... Let's google it."

Olympic Torch Training

'Come off it-she only said the guys will be fighting over us because you said we lived UNDER a boxing club!'

"Oh, it's you, I'm glad I picked up.You wouldn't believe how many annoying telepathicmarketing calls I get."

Chill Out Worshippers!

Pastor puts up sign on pole stating that he is 'serving' his 1,000th sermon.

'I understand the Adirondacks are where it's REALLY happening.'