Spiritual Preparation Pillows

"He was furiously reading the Bible before he died." "Looking for loopholes."

"Behold the secret to happiness."

"Home depot."

My God, I need to fart.

'Are we there yet? Huh? Have we achieved Nirvana yet? Huh, have we?'

'You must heal yourself.'

"Serenity's cool and all, but when do we get to bliss?"

"If anyone wants me, Ms. Clark, I'll be down in the youth department."

Jesus is Scourged (The Holy Bible).

Buddhist photo albums,

Contest of wills.

"I didn't realise it could be so complicated!"

"The answers to the questions you seek could also be found on Google."

'Don't look upon me as a priest, look upon me as your personal 'After Life Coach.''

"Before we discuss your loan, Mr Carlson, perhaps you'd like to spend a few moments with out bank chaplain."

The response of a spirit during a seance is in fact an annoyed neighbour.

"Let there be light hors d'oeuvres."

Nun confronts mugger.

"If he doesn't like the hand puppet routine, I'll try running the burning bush idea by him."

'It started out as meditation, but now it's quiet desperation!'

"I'm afraid the diagnosis isn't good."

'It's not considered good form to brag about extinguishing your ego.'

She Had Enough To Drink.

"I try to get a head start on them."

Computer literate Monk

"I want everyone to leave the room, except for the cat."

"You say that life is suffering, but isn't it also complaining?"

The Deli Llama

"Hard morning, Pastor?"

Notice on back of bishop's gown - How's My Droving.

'Hey, this is nice! You should see my starter cave!'

God's lil' fix-it shop.

Today's presentation - God's Miracles.

"Possible side effects include disharmony, lack of oneness, and blurred third-eye vision."

"You are taking the responsibility as an elder to shepherd the flock a little too serious."