Spiritual Practice Pillows

"Home depot."

My God, I need to fart.

"My client would like to cooperate, but unfortunately he's taken a vow of silence."

"Behold the secret to happiness."

"How can you be out of wings?"

"They say it takes 10,000 hours to perfect something- I guess I was a bit hasty throwing that together in 144."

"Good game."

"Soul searching? Yes, you could call it that."

"... and I have a follow-up question regarding rawhide."

'I hate to be so skeptical, but I still think the seance business is a hoax!'

"I want him to have the serenity to accept the things he can't pee on, the patience to pee on the things he can outside, and the wisdom to know the difference." "But I'll probably just take him to a trainer."

"Break his third chakra!" "Knock the dharma out of him!"

Church leader at desk has 3 boxes marked 'Black', 'White' and 'Gray Area'.

Priest's 'To do' list.

Turn, turn and turn.

"Hue More Church Candlelight mass 7:00pm - 8:00pm"

"Ooh, ooh, I know this koan! I got it! Pick me! Pick me!"

"It's a letter from the Vatican. They say that whilst walking the streets without stepping into dog poo is nearly as miraculous as walking on water, it's not sufficient to canonize me!"

reincarnated worm...

'You're through around here.. turn in your rubber donut!'

'...We apologise for any inconvenience this may cause..."

"Could you go back to the front desk? The receptionist has some forms for you to fill out."

'Things have really livened up down there since You introduced SEXUAL reproduction.'

"Oh, we're not religious. We only go on the solstices and equinoxes."

"Your son is asking a lot of questions about the giant hands in the sky that controls everything."

'He who laughs last probably doesn't get it.'

Kid to pastor: 'Which office is heaven?'

Road sign: 'No Passing Zone... This, too, shall pass.'

"Oh, great - They changed the Meaning of Life again."

'I don't remember predetermining THAT!'

'Hey! Contemplate your own navel!'

"Oh, ah, sorry!"

'He was just saying that all things come to him who waits and, sure enough, along came a lightning bolt.'

"Repent" "Give alms" "Resist temptation" "Pray for me" "Fasting" "Acts of service" "Sacrifice" "Abstain" "You are ashes" "You are dust" "No meat"

'I'm just not sure how much more I can teach you.'