Spiritual Listener Pillows

"Line one, the youth group calling from up the creek without a paddle...line two, Mrs. Kavanaugh calling from down in the dumps...line three, Virgil Larrison calling from death's door..."

Audio Books

"Mrs. Marsha Mullhouse, of Kenosha, Wisconsin, asks, "Are You subject to the laws of physics, or are the laws of physics subject to You?"

Cares and woes.

'Hello, Pastor Parker here. Thank you for calling moral support. Your call may be monitored to ... '

Shell Pods

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Attention Span Man

"Thanks, I knew I could count on you to turn my problem into something way worse that happened to you."

"Boy, the Reverend sure has your number."

"Officer, I'd like to report... a sexual assault. I was at a part, this guy... he attacked me."

'I have this constant ringing in my ears. I think I have tinnitus.' - 'Does it sound like an 'eeeeeee' or a 'shhhhh'?' - 'It's like the murmer of a thousand forgotten souls quietly lamenting past sorrows.' - 'Hmmm. I don't have a checkbox for that, sadly.

'I'm going to put you in touch with reality.', 'Can't I just sneak up on it?'

'I don't know how you stand listening to people's problems all of the time, Doctor Barnes.'

"I'll have whatever they're having."

"Doctor, I find you very easy to talk to."

'The pastor is the one who tells all the kids to be quiet and sit down.'

'She saw right through me.'

Thomas Aquinas

"I'm a pastor. My job is to speak 20 minutes on Sunday and listen the rest of the week."

'Yes, puberty did put me through a lot of stress. . . but it was my daughters puberty.'

4th of July and PTSD

"She no longer laughs at my joke."

"...But rock bottom is my comfort zone!"

"I think you may need to start seeing me twice a week for a while."

'Does that include the fishing rod?'

Deflate counselling service

' I bet you here this kind of thing all the time. '

"Hopefully my body language tells you all you need to know."

"If God had meant for penguins to fly he'd have given us feathers."