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'I was trying to extinguish my ego, and I got an Out of Memory Error.'

'He says he's tried sending you tweets but his cell phones keep melting.'

Revival Meeting - Simultaneous translation of all talking in tongues.

"I change my mantra every two months so no one can hack my soul."

"The fourth horseman says that he will be late. He hasn't left the Old Testament yet."

Vishnu playing twin neck guitar.

"I'm going on a retreat."

"Do you think it's a form of greeting?"

'I don't get it, I've only served that guy water all evening.'

'No, Father, they're not praying. They're texting.'

Albertus Magnus

First O.M.G. church.

'I need to tell Edgar...our house sold for a million two.'

'Ask about our daily sermon by fax plan.'

'Guide us, oh Webmaster.'

Holy phone

You Have 1 New Messages

"And the weird shall inherit the Earth, for their ways are difficult for A.I. algorithms to figure out."

"The gods must be on-line tonight."

". . . and don't forget to like and subscribe to my channel. Amen."

'Your late husband requests a status up date on how his stocks are doing...'

'Today's sermon may seem a little incoherent -- my 'Preach-o-Mat' program crashed.'

Church of divine healing - Emergency Room.

Heaven is unattended...leave your prayers at the sound of the tone.

'Throw them out of the Garden of Eden - THAT'LL provide the proper economic incentives!:

Sea of Galilee - Please Do Not Walk On The Water.

'These don't apply ex post facto, do they?'

Palm Top Readings

Error 404: the saviour you're looking for has been removed.

Confession plugged up to an amp.

Moses finds a map with a 'you are here'.

Guru logs on to 'Why-fi'.

"Yes, Mom, I'm just finishing texting my prayers now!"

Binary meditation.