Spirit Level Collector T-Shirts

'So that's what it's for Ethel. It's somewhere to put their spirit level

Unguided imagery

"Had more ghost-hunters 'round my place last night....scared the daylights outta me!"

'Fischer Says Give Thanks to the Lord!'

'Yes, they were using it to clean up the graffiti!'

'You can't come in here with that.'

"Peach fuzz. How does a nectarine know when it reaches puberty?"

He snuck in on me again, didn't he.

"Finally, Miss Big-Shot calls her dead mother!"

"I'd like to have a word with you about this spirit animal."

'... And your wife says; don't bother looking for the key to the drinks cabinet, because she's hidden it where you'll never find it.'

'Your deceased husband keeps saying: don't call him. He'll call you.'

How Optimism Works

'Avoid the Christmas rush, drink now.

'It's only fair Geraldine. I had to meet your parents.'

"Your husband says BOO!"

Angry wife: 'Oh well DONE Keith! Why didn't you tell me the invite said BRING your own spirits?!'

'Best to keep downwind.'

"Redcoat is down! Repeat, redcoat is down!"

Boys and Girls: Differences in Internet Surfing.

"At long last we've discovered evidence of a poultrygeist!"

'Can't talk now, I'm just going into a tunnel.'

Spiritual Show Observed by the Grim Reaper.

"Malachite promotes inner peace, hope and security, but I can’t say for certain it will help you put up with your boss."

"Honey, quick – the demi-glace is about to simmer – pass me a shot of Don Julio 1942 tequila!"

Lost Property - Missing Head

"I'm sensing an awkward presence."

'Potatoes. How many would I need to make a bottle of vodka?'

Dog Teenagers

"...The Spirits are out at the moment, but if you'd like to leave a message...."

"Lately, I've become more spiritual, and less religious."

'Oh my... It looks like you have only 24 hours left to live...'

Absinthe Fairy.

It says, Did you know you can now call up any spirit for just 10

'I understand there have been complaints that his sermons weren't getting through to the teenagers.'