Spirit Level Collector T-Shirts

'So that's what it's for Ethel. It's somewhere to put their spirit level

Unguided imagery

"Had more ghost-hunters 'round my place last night....scared the daylights outta me!"

'Fischer Says Give Thanks to the Lord!'

'Yes, they were using it to clean up the graffiti!'

"Peach fuzz. How does a nectarine know when it reaches puberty?"

'You can't come in here with that.'

"Finally, Miss Big-Shot calls her dead mother!"

"I'd like to have a word with you about this spirit animal."

'Your deceased husband keeps saying: don't call him. He'll call you.'

'... And your wife says; don't bother looking for the key to the drinks cabinet, because she's hidden it where you'll never find it.'

How Optimism Works

'Avoid the Christmas rush, drink now.

Boys and Girls: Differences in Internet Surfing.

"Your husband says BOO!"

Angry wife: 'Oh well DONE Keith! Why didn't you tell me the invite said BRING your own spirits?!'

"At long last we've discovered evidence of a poultrygeist!"

"Redcoat is down! Repeat, redcoat is down!"

'It's only fair Geraldine. I had to meet your parents.'

'Best to keep downwind.'

"I'm sensing an awkward presence."

'Can't talk now, I'm just going into a tunnel.'

Lost Property - Missing Head

Spiritual Show Observed by the Grim Reaper.

"Malachite promotes inner peace, hope and security, but I can’t say for certain it will help you put up with your boss."

"Honey, quick – the demi-glace is about to simmer – pass me a shot of Don Julio 1942 tequila!"

Dog Teenagers

'Potatoes. How many would I need to make a bottle of vodka?'

"...The Spirits are out at the moment, but if you'd like to leave a message...."

'Oh my... It looks like you have only 24 hours left to live...'

Absinthe Fairy.

''Is there anybody there?'