Spinning Sensation T-Shirts

"Notice how Dad ages faster at relativistic speeds?"

"Excellent, excellent. A fine blend of truths, half-truths, and blatant falsehoods."

"...And do you Sean Spicer take Kelly Anne Conway..." "The marriage of alternative facts"

'Fred, I want you to sanitize this, punch it up, dumb it down, leak it to the media and then be fully prepared to deny it!'

Public Relations: Reputations cleaned and repaired

Danae's Career Plans: 'The major product manufactured today is punditry, so I'm honing my argumentative skills to work my way to the top of the blow hard industry..my goal is to become a spin ninja...'

"All this spinning...shouldn't this be charging our phones or something?"

'Which sounds better: 'now with MORE XZ100' or 'now with LESS XZ100'?'

Arts and crafts

Boy swinging on wrecking ball swing: 'Stu had a future in demolitions.'

CONGRESS, 'No, no, you don't HAVE to fool all of the people all of the time - you just need to CONFUSE them!'

"What's important is that we learn from what we must never admit happened."

"I'm not spinning - I'm contextualizing."

'That's the new guy. He writes our 'shuck-and-jive' press releases.'

'Staffers don't report we're managing decline. They report we met our targets and did out job!'

"We're looking for the kind of bad taste that will grab - but not appall."

Frank & Ernie's Health and Fitness Equipment for Elite Athletes. Our first delivery is there free weights we're taking to a golfer. He'll be working on his irons! This is going to a swimmer. A massage table for back strokes! A pro snowboarder bought this hyperbaric chamber. He wants to get big air! And we'll finish by taking the treadmill to a baseball player's basement gym. Of course ... for the home runs!

'It has been revealed that a senior politician will criticise something in a speech. Later they will criticise the opposite of something, just in case.'

"I think I'm in the wrong kind of spin class!"

The Truth

Chinese History: Redwash

"There sits the unvarnished truth. Now, how shall we interpret it to our advantage?"

'I don't know whether these are good grades or not. The teacher calls them unique.'

"I didn't really need to alter this dress. I needed funny pictures for my website."

'Your job, Richards, is to make sure that my name never appears in a headline alongside the word 'siphoned.''

"Looks like he's coming around to our way of thinking."

'Sir, what comes first ??" the buzz or the spin?'

Have our P.R. people do a report on the beneficial effects of cyanide on river life.

"Prospectus in not spelt P...R...O...A...G...A...N...D...A."

"I work in PR where I provide a dynamic and highly effective bespoke service that can work for you and blah blah blah ..."

"And that's the way we want you to think it is."

Spinochio

"Don't forget - I was manipulating the will of the people before manipulating the will of the people was cool."

Holy Ronald Reagan. Do you see who's come into the cafe? Reagan? No, it's Johnny Spinwell. The king of spin! Who? Consultant to politicians, stars, lawyers, corporate execs. No one finds the bright side like Johnny. Pea brain, you stepped on my toe. I got your circulation going to save your heart.

"I didn't know you could get a PhD in Spin."