Speedy Shingle Enthusiast Pillows

Dave took his motto, 'Roofing done in one hour' seriously, even nailing shingles before plywood had been put down.

The Zoo.

"Well, we needed the rain."

Tortoise polishing his shell

Well, the doctor confirmed that it's not Rosacea.

'Well, the weatherman was wrong again. He said we would have heavy but isolated showers today.'

'It never fails. The mud's always one inch higher than my boots.'

Protein Powder Irony

'That was quick!'

'This is your third speeding ticket in a week. Sure your horse didn't get into some genetically modified hay?'

'Maybe you had the radar screen upside down and it was a plane...'

I love thunderstorms!

"He said, 'Won't you guide my sleigh tonight?' I thought that meant steer."

'According to the breathalyser, you're 50,000 glasses of sherry over the legal limit.'

Award Winning Photographer

'I think someone wants you to search for buried bones.'

Man sweating profusely while shoveling snow in his boxer shorts

Santa emergency stop.

'He wears his spikes on the inside.'

'The brakes have gone, body's shot to bits and it leaks, Are you still giving ?2000 trade in on your old model'

"Dear Santa, I just want one simple thing for Christmas this year. Your schematic for building an aerodynamic time-traveling toy sleigh."

'Life in the fast lane was too fast.'

'No whey, Jose!'

'I waxed the runners.'

Shoveling Snow

"Now who's laughing all the way?

Filling up with Deersil.

'The lightning struck the metal stud in her tongue.'

"There's a storm in my tea cup, I wonder if it has a name?"

Lightning Strikes a Conductor

"I told you she didn't like us!"

'I was dating a weatherman, but he had this annoying habit of always talking up a storm.'