Speedboat Sprinter Gifts

'At least the bigger prop gives us more thrust.'

A smiling cyclist

"This guy's a terrific defensive lineman. I once saw him chase down a quakerback for nearly 40 yards before sacking him. It was in a shopping mall, but still..."

"Take these. They'll help bring you up to speed."

Tunnel of fleeting love.

"You're doing great - keep it up."

'Whenever he stares out the window like that I know he's about to go into a gardening frenzy.'

He won't stop talking about being the fastest ever. He's a broken record about breaking a record.

Runner's High, Runner's Low

T-Rex Racing: A Short-Lived Sport

GPS flag in road

'Even though I can swim fast, can stay under water for a long time and come equipped with sonar, this is a lot more fun. Thanks for letting me take it for a ride.'

Water skier sees steep hill sign.

"What about your precious opposable thumbs now?"

Cheetah in at the start of a race, thinking: 'Why do I have to keep proving myself?'

'I try to help when I can.'

"When it came to running, Kevin was second to none."

Hydrofoil wing boat.

'I ran the mile in two minutes. I took a short cut.'

'...and whose theroy was it that a bigger propeller would give us more thrust?'

Overcoming the obstacles of the Internet

'Spinout!'

Little girl running alongside athlete asking for autograph.

Motorbike

Man has a lot of unpaid traffic tickets.

Your new faster sleeker post office!

"Come in six, your numbers up!"

Fish chopped by hydrofoil

Disraeli's Victory of 1874 Aided by Publicans

Huge, steroid taking sprinter.

'I can't find my keys!'

'I think it's ridiculous! There hasn't been a flood in this area for fifty years!'

'Watch out!'

"Well technically, I suppose, until it's caught the animal being chased by the cheetah is the fastest land animal."

'D'you want to see me run the 100 metres? ...D'you want to see it again?'