Speed Typing Challenger Pillows

'I can type 500 words per minute.'

Pounding speeds up the computer.

Lynching on social media

'Human Error .. Yet Again.'

"Hey, I'm thirsty. I need a drink. A drink and a liverwurst sandwich. Hey, how about a sandwich and a beer down at Gallagher's, then we can go shoot some pool? Or maybe take in a movie. Hey, I'm talking to you."

"I've seem an awful lot of movies ever since they cut them all down to two minutes."

"Just one more site!" "I'm totally, like, in control!" "I can quit anytime I feel like it..."

"If it doesn't happen on Facebook, it didn't happen."

'This computer has a fast modem, the latest Pentium, increased RAM, a huge hard drive and broadband connections. Only one problem...slow pointer fingers.'

"It's just one monkey at one typewriter, but we've given him an infinite need for validation."

"Yes, social media's a great way to express your opinions - shame you feel 'ignored and unappreciated by an aloof, faceless boss' - but that's because I haven't a clue who you are or what you do around here!"

"For just one monkey in front of one typewriter you've come up with some amazing stuff."

'You say you type 80 words a minute ... Actually, that's not at all important...!'

It's all fixed. Just don't type anything that contains the letter ‘E'.

A baseball player is too busy checking his smartphone to catch a ball.

Press Any Key. No, Not That One.

'How many words per minute do you type?'

"Honey, come quick! This guy in the comments section just solved the Middle East crisis."

Suddenly Paul realised that HE had been the odd one out all along.

'No, boss, this isn't a secret code. My spell check is broken and this is what my typing actually looks like.'

'We don't know what the final result will look like, but the movie rights have already been optioned.'

Computer Life

'I've got it written down...'

Sales Secretary

'Sorry, Kevin. You have given an incorrect command.'

'It's not encrypted, Captain. That's just the clerk's usual typing.'

'Your training will be the next five minutes watching my fingers move at the speed of light.'

'Why is it when you hit two keys by mistake, the one you don't want appears on the screen?'

'How many words a minute do you type?' - 'Big ones or little ones?'

New technologies.

"I have no idea where we parked the car, or why we exist."

"I meant to let Mr. Goldman know I’d be happy to work on Saturday, but I accidentally typed, ‘I hope your house is infested by termites.’"

"I have a protein drink every day for lunch, because I never have to chew."

"I'm suffering the unbearable loneliness of being right on the internet."