Speed Texter Pillows

Girl reads a book called Speed Texting For Everyday Use

"How sweet, you texted me. . . I love you too!"

'Your training will be the next five minutes watching my fingers move at the speed of light.'

"So this is what you do all day on your cell phone? Punching in letters...one by one...sending dirty messages to your friends?"

Bring it on, Scrabble nerd! Want to tell him directly? What do you mean? There's a chat function so you can taunt other online Scrabble players. Just type in your insult and hit send. Have I died and gone to heaven? The internet. And I suspect it' met its match.

"Grandpa can't hear you. Turn on your caps lock."

'What am I thinking? Don't you read my Tweets?'

'Your texting addiction sticks out like a sore thumb.'

Baby's first text.

I hear we're called gen txt. It's demeaning. Suggests our lives revolve 'round shallow misspelled missives. No dout! You're not helping me here. Y U usin big words? Hirz link 2 utube vid of cat pukin. Awsum!

"I just sent a penny to your bank account for your thoughts."

'I just got text-heckled!'

I type 90 words per minute and shred even faster!

I heard you have a really bad toothache. Meh. Not anymore. "Meh"? I got bored of that, so I just moved on. Amazing. "Mindless over matter." Bored of this phone.

Send. End.

"We've been avoiding it for way to long. We really need to have a face-to-face text."

Valentine's Day texting

'They start texting so young these days,'

"I just got a text from my teenage daughter. Do you speak emoji?"

'Just made a pass. I'm running for the end zone.'

John's Early Attempts at Direct Messaging Proved Futile.

'I can take 400 words per minute.'

Personal Air Bag.

"He overcame his vow of silence by texting on his phone."

"Block robocall number...text friend...block robocall number..."

The Island of People Who Never Get Back to You

"hey fans! im at bat,. btm 9th, bases loaded, score tied--oops, jst got called strike1!"

Kaitlyn Buchanan becomes the world's fastest text messager by texting all seven volumes of Harry Potter in 57 minutes and 12 seconds.

WRLD TXT MSG-ING CHMPSHIP.

'I can type 120 words a minute. Of course none of them are spelt right!'

'You were caught texting at 95 words a minute sir!'

You hang up. No, you hang up.

Night School Enrolment

'Your baby is a girl and holding a cell phone. Apparently, they're texting younger and younger these days.'

"Relax, that was no explosion! My daughter texting at the speed of sound caused a sonic boom."