Speed Racing Gifts

A souped up car...

"These aren’t the droids you’re looking for."

'My feet are killing me.'

Steep Hill, Slippery When Wet, Watch for Cars Going Faster Than You.

Ancient Racing

"I need to tinkle."

Go! Means NOW!

A tortoise running along the side of the road, panting.

Bringing Your Child To The Bicycle Race

'What was that?!' 'A 'Mach'-ing bird.'

Race track - with the race being to apply the white lines between lanes

"Just one more thump. . . just one more thump."

Runner collapsing over the finishing line.

Bob's Driving School.

'Congratulations, you graduated.'

The Slug Replaces the Cheetah as the Fastest Animal on Earth.

A smiling cyclist

Knight in shining Lycra!

"Faster! Middle age is gaining on you!"

"Oh, oh, it seems they've had a little trouble with the hand-off in lane number three."

Middle-aged guy spots an available convertible. The mating ritual begins.

Annual Swim Hundreds of Miles, Spawn and Die Marathon.

"WOW...this new bike has great acceleration!"

'Now will you pull over and ask for directions?'

"If you think I ride too fast, Susan...just say so!"

Snail Racing

'Humans seem to be so weight-conscious: My rider weighs himself before each race...'

The polar olympics

Bessy had won the 100m sprint... but many suspected Steeroid abuse!

'My new browser is so fast I have to take motion sickness pills.'

Living with Ulrich, such an adrenaline high.

"What now?" Runners disturbing loggers

'Geoffrey's kit car can go from nought to upside down in under nine seconds.'

'God's speed.'

Prehistoric Peeps: Even the 'Derby' had its primeval counterpart.