Speed Dial Savant T-Shirts

"Dad's barbeucuing again so Mom's got the pizza place on speed dial."

'Well, now that I know he's the owner's son, yes, he's the best damned wine steward I've ever seen.'

Felix Mendelssohn

I did it my way.

TV-Man

All the apps hidden within a phone

Binge Watch

Sir Edward Elgar

'When we all get together, we sure are vulgar.'

"I'm Todd, your waiter, and I'd like you to think our friendship is more than contextual."

"I'd love to sit down and discuss my project with you some time. Let me check my calendar and I'll get back to you."

Antonin Leopold Dvorak

'Lost Diary'

The Plasmas.

"Wait...... I'm in the bathroom for one minute and you answer my wife's 'Where are you' text with..... 'I'm in a bar with Pete, checking out chicks, foxes and a cute little beaver'??"

'I feel cosmopolitan tonight, Joe - Give me a scotch with an irish Chaser.'

"When you have my schedule, you need large sticky notes."

'As far as we can tell, the system went down because someone stepped on a crack in the sidewalk.'

"We can deliver it Tuesday. If no one's home, we'll just slip it under the door."

'To find out how to start your new mobile, please read the manual. T' read the manual, please start your mobile.

TV Producers Workshop. The first goal of a series to avoid cancellation long enough to issue a DVD set. Get boxed before you get canned!

"You doomscroll, I make coffee, and together we forge bravely into each new day."

"Every good scene in that move was in the coming attractions...why did we even bother to come watch it?"

"House red, sir?"

"Remember, son, you can be anything you want to be...except for maybe an aroma therapist."

"God, I love this show!"

'When did we lose our targeted audience status?'

Mind control

Anton Bruckner.

"It's been in self-drive mode all morning, maybe it's not programmed to recognise stop signs?"

"Cool game!"

'And this is where they switched to High Definition.'

'Ideally, I'd like a job where my multi-application cell phone will do all the work.'

With uncertainty over what happens after Brexit we can't trust to our traditional forecast models..."

'Coming to you direct from table nine; 'the polenta is cold'.'