Speechless Comedy Lovers Pillows

'Wow, a weird animal without a mouth.'

"I groom all day and still look like a baboon."

Life is for the birds.

"Maybe the next one will be a singles cruise."

"They're wearing cameras. How humiliating."

'Wow, the field really is a frozen tundra!'

'Santa recalled thousands of toys ― he delivered them to kids who're in fact naughty.'

"Oh my gosh, honey! Look out!"

Naturally, Bob thought the midwife was for him.

"I know we just met, but all I got is a twenty-four-hour pass!"

"That'll be five bucks."

"Well, I had 'the talk' with him.

Christmas in the Fish Bowl

Lesser known greek gods,

'He's the one who needs obedience training!'

'Congratulations! You've just downloaded a baby boy.'

Too much togetherness can lead to unexpected problems.

'What's the big deal about acid rain? Can't we just make alkaline rain to counteract it?'

'Well,he certainly has his father's nose!'

Same Day Delivery: "I wish!"

"Cat World Domination Day June 24th"

"Move ten paces, turn, then fire. Ready?" "Dibs on the hat."

Romeo & Juliet & Ron

God not-too-happy with the Humans sticking a 'Closing DOWN Sale!' sign on planet Earth

'I said you're next, Hibblemeyer. . . Hibblemeyer!'

'Well, you got the dog to protect you against criminals. Perhaps now you'll have to hire a criminal to protect you from the dog.'

Two fishermen land on stumps. Man says to other, 'Is that enough structure for ya?!'

The First Fire Stick

'We interrupt this programme for a sex flash.'

Stairlift around cliff face.