Speech Slayer Gifts

'Your presentation left them open-mouthed. Every one of them was yawning!'

Performance anxiety lessons, the more you practice something.

Ban on Free Speech

'Now, keep in mind that these numbers are only as accurate as the fictitious data, ludicrous assumptions and wishful thinking they're based upon!'

Dialogue

"I keep telling myself I've got to slow down."

'Now that we've learned to talk, maybe we should establish some speech codes.'

MLK

Thunk! Teddy! Pick them up! They're toxic to all living things! Ok. Ok. But you don't have to exaggerate. Regrettably � I'm not.

'The inaugural address? It's sort of like an opening monologue.'

Rock On

'Vote for me. I'm ready, and willing. Two out of three isn't bad.'

Censorship is killing free society.

"I'll stop saying 'irregardless' if you'll stop staying 'at this point in time.'"

Rudy, please help me distract level 2 of my video game. Distract? I have no problem with level 1. But as soon as I get past it. I face this super-powerful monster. I can't defeat it. It's so mean, and ... oh no, here it comes! Where? No more playing or talking about video games. Go outside and do something real! I'll never make it to level 3. You'll never make it to your teens.

Zika: War on Mosquitoes

Redaction: The pen is mightier than the word

'Wow, excellent turnout.'

"I'm looking for something with low clearance. Something monsters won't be able to get under."

President Barack Obama

'In preparing for his big speech Thorton practices freezing mindlessly in front of a mirror.'

'The Chinese translation of 'Freedom of Speech' goes 'The less you talk the longer you'll be out of jail!''

'The new chairman is a great speaker - he just goes on and on.'

"Your sermon had everyone at rapt attention. Good move cutting the church WiFi."

'You have too much salt in your diet.'

"No, I can't say I ever actually caught one. But let's be honest, would any of us really want to?"

"Josephine, my man!"

'I get that a lot.'

"You know, Ed, it's not so much what you say, it's how you say it."

'Where're you going?' - 'Off to have your sausages carbon dated.'

Highest Anxiety

"I HATE public speaking! Whenever I'm in front of an audience, I freeze like a... Well, you get the picture."

"I'd like to welcome you all to the procrastinators club. I move we defer the reading of the minutes of the last meeting until our next meeting...which has been postponed!"

Let me handle him okay?

Listener's Corner.