Speech Perfectionist Pillows

Tweetie pie in an elecution class.

'These personal statements are just me...me...me!'

Al, trust me� You're ready for tomorrow's comic strip. I really want to nail my performance, Axel. "Waiter, there's a fly in my soup�waiter, there's a fly in my soup�waiter, there's a fly in my soup�waiter, there's a fly in my soup�waiter�"

"I'm going to bombard you with graphs until you agree with me."

"I was hoping this presentation would be more interesting upside down."

Brian wanted to call the presentation "Synergy". Paula wanted to call it "Cooperation". They could never agree.

"Why can't the rest of you be more like Rollins, here? He does his homework!"

"I'm razzled, but not dazzled."

Punctuation Police

Someone who knows apostrophes

'The Questioner'

How to deliver a successful presentation.

"Any questions?"

"Great plan. Could we get some more details?"

"Quit stalling, Smithers. Where's the SALES chart?"

'It appears the 'What?'s have it.'

"I know its hard to believe right now, Lawrence, but some day you'll thank me for asking you to punctuate your sentences correctly."

"I know! I know! I K-n-o-w!. . . Um, what was the question?"

Personnel - "This letter of recommendation is full of misspellings!"

'Ted, I really wish you'd update your presentation software so we could do away with the 3-D glasses.'

Dating an English Major

'Who teaches apostrophe usage?'

"Peterson proposes we move out of the mountains."

"Baxter...about this report...your punctuation, spelling and grammar are perfect. No one can understand it!"

The Importance of Planning Thoroughly in Advance

"Good invisible exports figures this quarter, sir."

"I’ve seen better metaphors in my litter box."

With the popularity of spell-checkers, many people are turning to the new speech-checkers.

"I'll be glad when they invent PowerPoint."

Hanging off every word...

Shakespeare loved a grammar joke

'This prediction has a margin of error of plus or minus fifteen...fifteen class-action suits brought against the company.'

Ironing Punctuation

'Can't he ever use a different kind of chart?'

Job Interview Gone Bad.