Speech-giving Doggos Mugs

'I must admit that I've come a long way since I first heard the word speak.'

"There's really not much to obedience school. Just listen up and do what they say."

"For the girls—Kimberly, Caitlin, Lauren, Cindy, and Tracy. For the boys—Cameron, Christopher, Adam, Jeffrey, and Gregory."

"When I first arrived, Young Master was always with me and Old Master didn't want anything to do with me, nor it's the opposite: Go figure..."

"Ever feel like even when you're barking at something you're still barking at nothing?"

"Sorry I'm late. I overslept." "Is that even a real word?"

"I've told you why I need a dog. Now suppose you tell me what makes you think you might be that dog."

"Hello? Is that the canine help line?...."

"Could you tell me how to get to cedar grove, New Jersey? I want to see where my grandfather was born."

"My master's vowel hyperarticulation is wearing a bit thin..."

"Oh, she talk a lot...but only about her children."

ONE HORSE TOWN

"Are you happy with your current ball?"

"At least you don’t need a wetsuit."

"Then he suggested we go to a leash optional beach."

"You know what the Serengeti lacks?—Decent deserts."

"Now, let your inner ‘bad dog’ answer the question ..."

"Janet, please. I'm calling the vet's office to check their lost and found. That's the last place I saw my nuts."

"I'm not a mad dog. But I'm not particularly happy either."

"When I get to heaven do you think I'll get my testicles back?"

"If you could live your life all over again, what dead animals would you roll in?"

"I just don't get it, they don't do it themselves, so why do they insist on us sitting before crossing the road?"

If dogs were psychiatrists.

"Great - Now what would be the second thing you'd do if you had opposable thumbs?"

"The way I see it, microchipping is an invasion of our privacy!"

"I'd love to stay and chat but I just heard a silent dog whistle."

"I can remember when he used to try to tell us things."

Dog and man on couch

"Really? Everyone we hang out with we also met through our puppies."

"My Instagram feed is basically people, dog food and tennis balls."

'Enough of my tapeworm - tell me about your fleas.'

'Don't forget to talk about their dog!'

'I like this shampoo. It says here: 'Not tested on animals'!'

"I'm about ready to forgive the French."

"Say something like 'Bow-wow' or 'Arf-arf' and you'll really break them up."