Speech Deliverer T-Shirts

"Oh, I'll be bi-partisan alright, punishing both sides of the aisle."

"Of course he's smiling. He's getting $15,000 to give a lecture on free speech."

"How long will we, the descendants of wolves, be content with table scraps and belly rubs?"

Clown teaches how to speak Jibberish

"... And finally, I’d like to thank the FDA for approving Botox."

"Excellent, excellent. A fine blend of truths, half-truths, and blatant falsehoods."

"...and before you embark upon life's journey, could one of you help me with my laptop?"

Political convention

"As this is a civil ceremony, I'd rather you took the vows without swearing."

'Boy, if you'd just stop roaming around, it would be easier to find you...'

'So much for your new Satnav!'

"Candy wuld be nice onice in a while."

'Look dear, he's writing political speeches.'

"I'd like to thank my parents and my creditors for making this possible."

We need a Europe of U-turns.

Passed over at the Inaugural Poetry Audition

Food deliverer's baby.

Acme. Breakable prop transporter.

Information...political rhetoric

'I won't lower myself to the level of my opponent.'

'Yes, it's a stupid speech, Senator, but you've got to court the stupid VOTE.'

Exit Next Left

Santa called but you were out!

'Everyone distrusts spin. . . so let's go back to old-fashioned lying.'

Dog flying with a drone backpack is attacking another drone delivering the mail.

"And lastly, for my infinite perseverance, self-control and fortitude, I'd like to thank the Internet trolls."

French Early Bird

"It is now that moment when a close family member tries to speak of the deceased without choking up."

"Who ordered a pizza?"

"But I won't bore you with the all too familiar story of a dictator's rise to absolute power,"

'Hurry up: We've sprung a leak!'

"I'm interested in working with animals and deliveries."

'Mr. President, I have a question, where's the mens' room?'

'Harold is the brains behind the Smudge-o-Rama mailer.'