Speculative Sippers Gifts

"The 'Ex' huh?"

'Sparky, fetch me an impudent little chardonnay.'

'If this is tea, I'll have a coffee. If it's a coffee, I'll have a tea!'

Yoga vs. Prosecco

'Don't let him pick the wine. He thinks Dom Perignon was someone who got knocked off on the Sopranos.'

'It has to breathe for exactly 22 minutes; then I can pour you a glass - right after the sacrifice.'

Soccer games took on a whole new meaning for the parents of Hillsdale Youth Soccer.

"This wine tastes like a**....Bring me every bottle you have!"

'I don't actually want to learn so much that I become a wine buff - just a wine snob!'

'How long you planning on staying up there, Bill?'

Velvety. And so was the wine.

"And would you like a wine stopper?"

"May I say, sir, the staff and I just knew you'd see through that Beaujolais."

Happy hour.

"One man's dirty water is another man's Earl Grey."

'Bob will be with you in a moment. He's cleaning the filter to the wine-aroma-judging-device attached to his face.'

'No I don't do decaf, soy lattes with a shot of vanilla!'

Scariest Tactics

'Too acidic? On the contrary, I find it well balanced.'

I say when life hands you a lemon, make lemonade

Introducing Brocco. The world's first broccoli-flavored liqueur!

"Persistent, well-rounded, and full-bodied, with hints of smoke, and just a soupdon of irregularity."

"You know, after all these years of giving you advice on all. Things personal and professional, it occurred to me that you've never actually asked for my opinion."

"Single malt scotches are good but I prefer regular old comfort booze."

"The champagne aisle always makes me cry. Just look at all this imprisoned happiness!"

Beethoven's 10th

The wine was fruity and quite lively.

"I highly recommend our featured red. With its markup, what waiter wouldn't?"

Nappy Hour 2-3.

"Bartender - givish me another shot."

Man battles for his life against 'A Very Lively Little Red'

'Maybe you're sitting on the wrong end.'

'The wife and I have decided to nominate our weekly drink-free days as tomorrow and the day after tomorrow.'

"Is the vodka fresh?"

"Lady, I didn't go to barista school just to serve you black coffee."