Speculative Sippers Gifts

"The 'Ex' huh?"

'Sparky, fetch me an impudent little chardonnay.'

'If this is tea, I'll have a coffee. If it's a coffee, I'll have a tea!'

'It has to breathe for exactly 22 minutes; then I can pour you a glass - right after the sacrifice.'

"This wine tastes like a**....Bring me every bottle you have!"

'I don't actually want to learn so much that I become a wine buff - just a wine snob!'

'How long you planning on staying up there, Bill?'

Velvety. And so was the wine.

"And would you like a wine stopper?"

"May I say, sir, the staff and I just knew you'd see through that Beaujolais."

Happy hour.

'Bob will be with you in a moment. He's cleaning the filter to the wine-aroma-judging-device attached to his face.'

"One man's dirty water is another man's Earl Grey."

'No I don't do decaf, soy lattes with a shot of vanilla!'

Introducing Brocco. The world's first broccoli-flavored liqueur!

'Too acidic? On the contrary, I find it well balanced.'

Scariest Tactics

"Persistent, well-rounded, and full-bodied, with hints of smoke, and just a soupdon of irregularity."

"You know, after all these years of giving you advice on all. Things personal and professional, it occurred to me that you've never actually asked for my opinion."

Nappy Hour 2-3.

Man battles for his life against 'A Very Lively Little Red'

"Bartender - givish me another shot."

The wine was fruity and quite lively.

Beethoven's 10th

"I highly recommend our featured red. With its markup, what waiter wouldn't?"

"Single malt scotches are good but I prefer regular old comfort booze."

"The champagne aisle always makes me cry. Just look at all this imprisoned happiness!"

'Maybe you're sitting on the wrong end.'

'The wife and I have decided to nominate our weekly drink-free days as tomorrow and the day after tomorrow.'

'Time's up, chuckles.'

"A cheeky little wine, would you agree?"

Olde English Delicacies - Maypole Syrup.