Specialist Seeker Pillows

"Hmm, so the foot guy sent you here. I'm strictly a knee-and-upper-shin guy – you're going to have to see a lower-shin-upper-ankle guy."

"Your food didn't melt, young man... this is the soup course."

'And remember to emphasize we're giving them the opportunity to find a better job.'

'Is there another doctor in the house? He wants a second opinion.'

"So, I see you have a background in advertising..."

Woman and pets with hair sticking straight up all enter Stress Management Clinic.

"Freudian, Jungian, Adlerian – none of it compares to retail therapy."

"But can't I be feared and loved?"

'I can't control my anger when people get too close to my kids...'

'So tell me why you think you're suffering from seasonal ineffective disorder.'

"Nobody ever asked about my mental health."

Pet a Puppy

My Brother Al once went through a period of depression, your honor. He would just sit around in his robe all day. Then his psychiatrist got him out of his funk. Would you like to have his doctor's phone number? ? ?

'I have multiple personalities and they are all following me on Twitter.'

Keeping all the balls in the air - skills

Do you have any other skills?

Bryan Ferry

'If you can keep him clean for a day you can sleep in his bed tonight.'

"Have you ever thought of just knocking this 'half-empty glass' OFF the counter?"

'I don't understand. You've wasted the whole interview going on and on about what you know... I think you'd better start telling me who you know.'

Buoyed by his past success, William Tell sought even greater challenges,

Mountain bikes and molehill bikes.

The Physiciatrist...

'We never go anywhere together except here.'

'I gotta admit it doc. . . My wife was right, a little time on the couch and I already feel better.'

'I hate all holidays!'

In an unprecedented occurrence, Noah Webster fails his vocabulary test.

Tic-tac-toe

Psychiatrist says: 'Oh, no! Not another fruit cake?'

'Your wife says you act like a fool. I thought you said she never pays attention to you.'

"I'm an oldest child trapped in the body of a middle child."

'I guess it was a breakthrough - My free-floating anxiety crashed.'

Turmoil change.

Bob began seeing his mother, who gave him up for adoption, professionally, three times a week. It didn't help much.

'I think I'm getting somewhere. On the way over I stopped to smell the flowers.'