Spatula Scholars Pillows

"Since I proved in my last lecture that none of us really exist...I'm going to change this to a cooking class!"

A chef teaches a classroom of other chefs how to properly flip something using a spatula.

Eugene Ionesco

New York Scatological Society

"Not while they're making artisanal bread."

"You'll go far...you think like a man..."

Menu, Womenu.

Dear Diary

"Do you have anything on the menu without maple syrup on it?"

"You guys need to #@%!% fight harder. You're all #@%!% wimps! You call yourselves a #@%!% army? Bull%#!*!"

THE UNCANNY PREDICTIONS OF THE GREAT NOWSTRADAMUS, 'A prominent academic will suggest that females may be intrinsically emotionally different from males... and the feminists will become hysterical.

Frog Flycatcher.

HornyWood

"Why would anyone question her abilities..."

"If Neil Simon's going to keep writing them, we're going to keep seeing them."

'Alphabet soup? -- oh, an intellectual, eh?'

"Who remembers when food wasn't genetically modified?"

Oculist.

"We bought the most expensive cut of meat....you marinated it for two days in your secret sauce....and all you end up with is that?"

"He's Britains most eligible Spatula."

Updated Classics.

I hate to tell you this, but that's a can of maple syrup, not motor oil.

"I don't like the way women are portrayed in the constellations."

FOOD FIGHT AT THE OK CORRAL.

'Well, I guess a master's degree is a master's degree, even if it is in skateboarding.'

"Your spatulas are no good in this town mister."

'Good news and bad news, Kevin. You tested negative for steroids, but positive for estrogen.'

Stop Sexist Ads!

"Cough! Cough! Cough! Hack-hack! Cough! cough! cough!"

The End Of The Block Is Near

Violence against women.

'I'm not sexist...as far as I'm concerned you're just one of the chaps!'

"I'm guilty because I was born as a man! I'm guilty because I'm a potential rapist!"

"It means never having to say you're sorry."