Script Scholars Pillows

"If Neil Simon's going to keep writing them, we're going to keep seeing them."

'My penmanship has really improved since I got a laser printer.'

"Samson was the best actor in the bible - he brought the house down!"

"Um, I notice there's nothing in here about pork."

"When you say the meek will inherit the earth, does that include the mineral rights?"

'Here's something that should suit your wooden acting style. How do you fancy playing the lead in Pinocchio?'

"More rescue efforts, less screenplay."

"Today we studied Matthew, the first in a four-part series."

"They're SUPPOSED to have a disparate impact!"

Cleric with bible briefcase.

"For just one monkey in front of one typewriter you've come up with some amazing stuff."

'It wasn't actually written by God. The Lord used holy ghost writers.'

"Bible lessons are best taught in the context of faith. There's no need to add 'based on a true story.'"

'How's this new concept? Instead of a gunfight, the hero overpowers the villian with a heartfelt homily on the sanctity of family values.'

Hollywood producer.

I'll be honest, Jerry - When you invited me to join your book club, this is not what I expected.

Athens Playhouse. Euclid is rehearsing a play he wrote about lust, money and lies. Investment Sales Office. Don't be obtuse! Face each other from this angle! He's a tough director. It's surprising that Euclid, the father of geometry, wrote about passion, money and deceit. I thought so too, until I read the script. It's a story about a pyramid scheme and a love triangle!

'You say it's a dramedy? We thought it was more of a coma.'

Hollywood producer.

"The script isn't funny, but maybe if we put some unfunny actors in it and get an unfunny director it will be funny."

'Personally, I love your script, but Rex is pretty certain he smells a bomb!'

Script/Director/Producer/Decency Panel.

Mega Cosmic Films. It's about a squad of ninja nuns? Yes, we call it "Force of Habit"!

Actor practising his indian war crys

"Wow! That's some PowerPoint presentation."

"We're in luck, not a word about retrospectivity."

'We don't know what the final result will look like, but the movie rights have already been optioned.'

Ask Sadie! I just read an article where Daisy Ridley said J.J. Abrams wrote drafts for Episode VIII and Episode IX. And then Rian Johnson THREW THAT OUT and went a whole different direction. This makes me lose all faith in Star Wars. Am I overreacting? **Actual reader question. Excellent question. This reminds me of the time I saw Gone with the Wind on opening day. I was the invited guest of an elderly veteran of the Civil War. He couldn't stop yammering about how seceding from the union didn't

Eugene Ionesco

"I had that dream again where you're writing down all my fears and anxieties and working them into a screenplay."

'I think we're going to need an ANNOTATED edition.'

"It's supposed to be a comedy, so I've had Steve, here, red-flag the funny parts."

'Any chance these are available in paperback?'

"The script is flimsy, the action scenes implausible and the plot would insult the intelligence of a three year old."

"Great money scenes!"