Spartan Enthusiast Pillows

'The 300 Spartans arrived... and blocked the legislation.'

"It's amazing, Darlin', just how fast the kids grow up!"

Santa Claus's Mail

"So, what brings you in today, Mr. Brooks? High anxiety again?"

'My imaginary playmate can whip your imaginary playmate!'

High security Santa's grotto

"I prefer to talk to Mrs. Claus. She doesn't care if I'm naughty or nice."

A man deflates and dissolves into the ground and becomes a flower.

'The next piece contains sex, violence, and Homeric epithets.'

"The previous tenant was a bit of a shut-in."

"I admire your enthusiasm, but you’re not really flying."

"Where’s your sense of Gothic romance?"

"Nevermore." "You don't have to use 'air quoths' every time."

"Still Undecided Political Blocs"

"Anything but milk and cookies."

'The way I see it, drinking is its own reward.'

"I wasn't expecting to be in here for so long."

'This year I'm deliverying everything FedEx!'

'How do we know the NSA hasn't hacked your naughty list?'

The Raven in Flight

"Pepperoni pizza is my favorite! Ah, Billy, you little suck up!"

"What'd you think the zipper on my face was for?"

Santa CGI Effect

'You still owe me the pony from last year!'

Trilby - 'Oh my poor girl! my poor girl!'

'It's a little varietal I bottle myself...Type A positive.'

'How do you think he stays so merry through the holidays?!'

Good coaches help people change, great coaches help the change stick...

"I want a pony!"

"Naughty? Nice? It's a bit more nuanced than that..."

'And that,and that,and that...'

Hypnotoon

'There really IS a Santa!' Santa busts pets eating his milk and cookies

'Well, I'll try, but cheese seems to be the 'must have gift' this year.'

The Reindeer Strike