Sparkling Sympathizer T-Shirts

"The champagne aisle always makes me cry. Just look at all this imprisoned happiness!"

'Half-baked beans, low fat variety' "Who says we have no taste?"

Disco Bunny.

'It's more festive-looking!'

"Wait, you never wash your cape?"

You just keep giving.

'I, Dom Perignon, will now uncork the very first bottle of Champagne. Of course, I'm just guessing this is the right way to do it.'

"Delivery."

"It's a pizza leaflet..."

No need for you to read this. You seem to have got it to a fine art.

'I've made a radio using coconuts, salt water, and a trout.'

"I could probably keep spring-cleaning till next winter."

Champagne Tasting.

Cut out and keep your own Cleaner.

"There you are!"

"And these are diamonté—a girl's closest acquaintance."

"I hurt a lot of people during my last twelve steps."

'If you can hear me, Larry Gligstein, please send a text to 555-703-7193

Dancing in tailcoats

"I bedazzled my boobs for your birthday." "Ohhh. Myyyy."

Two women in jeweled dresses

"It connects to the internet and sparkles like a ring...it's the iBling."

Merrily covering everything in glitter...

"What makes him a wine snob? He's been talking about the cork for 45 minutes and he thinks we're still listening."

"Prosecco-ho-ho?"

Seltzer paste.

The pastor forgot to remove his wireless mic before entering the baptismal."

"He took an Alka-Seltzer and now he thinks he’s sparkling."

"Look, honey! All your lost eye glasses have mysteriously migrated to this drawer, and now they're plotting their next escape."

'I can't find my glasses!' 'I can't find my mobile phone!'