Spanish Teachers Gifts

"OK...let's practice your Spanish! And we'll start with things you know...like this! Your computer joystick! In Spanish, it's...it's...el joystick."

"At home, we call that pollo podrido! And we call this vomito apestoso! And we call this queque repugnante!"

Children's Parties

Campaign for Plain English

Weekday Morning Hell Bingo

'It's a difficult job, he needed a bigger than average 'stress ball'.'

Peter's Pitas - now with pickled peppers.

Pajama Day 743

Baby sees bottle with math formula marked, 'Baby Formula'.

Four Types of Test-Takers...

"Oh, mournful and terrible engine of horror and crime—of agony and of death, not asparagus again!"

Changing Minds

Desert $2.75. See? -- It wasn't a typo.

Non-Denominational Carols

'Your classroom management techniques work in practice but not in theory. That worries me.'

Euripides: 'If we could be twice young and twice old, we could correct all our mistakes.'

"I used to be your old school teacher, I always said you would amount to nothing."

Toy Shops and Educated Children

'Kids, today, Xerf brought in a planet that he found. Now if we look at it closely under the microscope, you can still see it's inhabitants scrambling around.'

With the popularity of spell-checkers, many people are turning to the new speech-checkers.

"He just said his first word!"

"When I get to Heaven, will I still have to clean my room?"

'She speaks 6 languages and can't say 'No' in any of them. . .'

The Kids' Table at the Last Supper

'Now, what's Italian for pizza?'

The Evolution Of Man.

Harv's general clumsiness with prepositions comes back to haunt him.

'I prefer the term 'whistleblower' to tattletale.'

'We'd like to form a support group for homework anxiety.'

'I'm looking forward to parents' night. I'm going to ask these people their diet secrets.'

Arthur Schopenhauer

'A is for Arse.'

'I made a hundred on the Spanish test. Gracias.'

Math Teacher

Humanities 101. I hear you're reading Greek plays in there. Yeah, it's a real Medea blitz!