Spam Detective Prints

"Since he's been a plagiarist, committed perjury and runs a Ponzi scheme, trust can be an issue."

"....and then it turned out that the e-mail I ignored that I got from the Nigerian bank offering me £200 million was REAL!"

'I delete so much junk mail, my trash can icon turned into a dumpster.'

'At 10:00 you'll be deleting spam. At 10:15 you'll be forwarding jokes. At 10:35 you'll be playing online poker. At noon...'

'There's a gentleman here who's concerned because you haven't responded to not one of his 12 million email spams.'

'I've got a highspeed connection and I get spam... therefore I am!'

Meet the People of the Internet

"Hello, I am a Nigerian Prince and I need your help!!! Please send me $500 and your bank routing number. You will rewarded with 10% of 12.7 million dollars and my undying friendship. Best wishes, Prince John Barron."

Ed Revere, Spam Courier

'I find if I'm the first one in and the first one out, Ponzi schemes can be very lucrative.'

Spam.

"I hypnotized him into exercising every time he gets a spam in his inbox. He works out 50 times a day."

'To be honest I generally only deal with clients by phone or email.'

Pandora's Inbox

'No dear, there's no post - only junk mail.'

'Oh no! We're being spammed again!'

"Your compulsive talk about crazy diets, get rich schemes, and mail order drugs -- your pacemaker's been hacked and you're spamming."

'He's our Spam expert!'

"I know what the 'e' in 'email' stand for...endless."

"How many of these 'email blasts' are we talking about, General."

Mailwoman looks at mailboxes marked Mail - Spam.

"Mmm, Spam."

'Wow! I've got one from someone I know!'

'Okay, sir, can you identify the spam?'

Spam on Mousetrap

Vote McWhirtle. No salesman will call!

"Just as I thought! In small print it says our union newsletter was printed in Mexico!"

'Earn Dollars a Day by Doing Absolutely Nothing!'

"If you want proof that your email is working again, then you can read all the spam you just received."

'We need to add an eleventh - 'thou shalt not spam.'

The eMailman's Creed

'Any collateral other than this letter from a Nigerian banker's widow?'

Email Forwards - Self Treatment for Hemorrhoids.

"I forget...which one of us is occupant and which of us is resident?"