Space News Subscriber Pillows

'You look like an intelligent being -- how would you like to subscribe to the Galactic Enquirer?'

"I've always wondered, do light years have half the calories of regular years?"

"I prefer 'prostitute'. 'Media whore' implies that I'm not getting paid."

'I'll come in as soon as I've seen the orbits of Venus.'

"You are here"

Escaping Black Hole - '..But captain that's the pensions black hole there is no escape!'

'Sir, we're receiving a signal from space. It might be a candidate for possible intelligent alien life!' 'Nice going you ninny, you butt-dialled Earth! Now they're going to know we exist!'

While playing fetch, Beasle inadvertently set back interplanetary relations for millennia.

'That must be the guy from corporate.'

Aliens would have destroyed us years ago if it weren't for our entertainment value.

'Recalculating!'

Subpoena-of-the-Month Club

'Sometimes I think my wife's on another planet.'

'This new star sends out periodic pulses in a very appealing rhythm -- I think I'll name it 'Bossa Nova.''

'What's the area code up here?'

'Well yes, they sent me into space: But to be perfectly honest, I had no idea as to what was going on...'

Spaceman serving shrimp.

"I subscribed to a collector's magazine! It has great interviews with big-time collectors who buy the world's rarest treasures."

First space criminal investigation

A workman ponders a bolt on a track

'I think I finally spotted a star between the spy satellites.'

"Nope. Still no intelligent life."

Kirks & Tacos

"You two stop fighting...don't make me come back there!"

'I've always found the stars disappointingly small.'

You are here.

'Your OTHER left, dummy!'

"The president has banned the Mexican wave and replaced it with the American wave... Also, empanadas will now only use American jumping-beans."

"Move along, people, there's nothing to see here."

"Wait until that cat climbs another tree."