Soybean Samurai Pillows

"No, 'tofu' isn't short for 'toe fungus'!"

'You forget, I'm a blackbelt in powerpoint.'

Decapitated coffee.

'I'm into natural foods, Joe -- give me a martini with a soybean in it.'

Investment analyst Renald P. is going to frighten the market.

Honour Being Served 'Apps at Dawn'.

"I'm now too old to produce milk, and I can't afford to retire as yet, so I've had to diversify..."

No one ever tried to rob the Samurai Bank.

"I hab peenut buffer stok to woof of my mout!"

'Real? No. They're all made out of soy and tofu. We wanted to crack the meatless industry up a few notches.'

Uncle Sam argues about pollution with China.

"When you came down for a snack last night, did you see a plate of dog food in here?"

'More versatile than you think - the building is made of tofu.'

'I'm into natural foods, Joe -- give me a martini with a soybean in it.'

The 24/7 Samurai

Vegan Voldemort

When vegans pose for photos.

'On the bill of lading it says 'humbly assembled household robots without intention to cause injury on export market'.'

Born to raise soy beans.

Record soy bean crop

"Being a vegan should be considered an extreme sport."

'Today is the day that 'Black Bean Couscous' kicks 'Classic Macaroni Salad' butt.'

News Samurai

"It's a club sandwich. It's like sushi but with bread."

"My first soybean."

"Plan B is to commit ritual suicide."

Boss, I need to go home, I have an awful toothache. I can't focus. I can't concentrate. It's like someone's stabbing me in the face with a Samurai sword. Oh, that's not that bad. Let me know when it feels more like a Ninja sword. I'm not sure there's a difference. Apparently you can focus just fine.

Free-range tofu.

'Oh no, it's a shogun wedding!'

"Thank you for your submission! This is a notification that your rejection letter is being prepared and will be sent out as soon as possible."

Air Vent

Shed pounds fast the Japanese way, without any dieting or exercise! (Caution: May cause shortness)

101 uses of a dead cat: samurai armour.

"Oh boy, let's hope it's a soy-sausage..."