Southern Nostalgia Lover Gifts

The old colonel wished he was in the land of cotton.

Truman Capote

Last Chance For Reality

"They must be from a time when it was safe to meet in the park at night."

Gregg Allman

"Well, well, looks like we got ourselves a coupla city types here, and a couple more city types right behind 'em, and a whole mess o' city types transferrin' to the Queens-bound F train."

Truman Capote

'I'd say that was just the thing to wear on a visit to an 80-year old uncle in Texas who's going to leave you five million dollars.'

"You remember Eric. He used to carry my books home from school."

"What? You've never been to Waffle House? I guess it is kind of a regional thing."

A Redneck Cupid with a shotgun about to fire open a Boy and Girl redneck couple.

"Forty years ago on this very seat I proposed to you. Made up your mind yet?"

A call to save energy, based loosely on the style of second world war posters

"We've known each other for a while now, so I feel it's the right time to ask – are you a psychological manifestation of my nostalgic longing of a romanticised past?"

"I'm not sure what we're seeing but I think it's some kind of antique milking machine."

"All of our menu items have a tobacco-juice base."

'Mmm that's a bit different for 8:45.'

Cowboy spreading true grit on snow

Hey y'all.

A Redneck Christmas

Ever the southern gentleman, General Armistead pauses during battle to inquire if anyone has lost a hat.

"I have over a hundred words for 'grits.' "

'It's no use Jim-Bob. Ever since I got that gap between my teeth fixed, I can't play the banjo!!

'Where's the nearest bar?' 'Oh, they's been hibernatin' fer weeks!'

Southern Trucking Company: We Haul You All.

'Shee-yoot. Now we ain't even a one-horse town.'

'I think we've got him cornered!'

"Let's see. 12 bald cures, 15 back hair removal ads, and 27 male enhancement ads. That's pretty much it."

(Pickup trucks, whiskey, hangovers, wild women, what are these things....?)

Farm boy about to go swimming in cattle water tank.

'Git your hicks' on route 66.

"Son, your grandma is dancing with Kurt Cobain now."

'Cutting Mistletoe in the South'

Some Settling May Not Occur

"And from now on, Mrs. Chamberlain, I'd appreciate it if you didn't call me Skeeter. Try to call me Marvin."