Sound System Savant T-Shirts

"I don't like the sound of that cough. I'm going to adjust your bass and treble."

Felix Mendelssohn

What are you in the mood to get confused watching tonight?

'Theaters from Hell' 'We have no sound engineers, so no there's not a good seat in the house.'

Sir Edward Elgar

"So we've managed to consolidate all our multinational 24 hour hotline support centres down to one Single Point of Contact... and here he is."

Antonin Leopold Dvorak

Christopher Nolan caricature

'As far as we can tell, the system went down because someone stepped on a crack in the sidewalk.'

'I don't believe in hoarding cash and gold Dad: I invest in shares online...'

"Remember, son, you can be anything you want to be...except for maybe an aroma therapist."

The Music Lover.

TV Producers Workshop. The first goal of a series to avoid cancellation long enough to issue a DVD set. Get boxed before you get canned!

STRIP Hambone: Computer addict

'If you're going to stare at that thing all day, at least watch something educational,,, like Japan,'

Anton Bruckner.

Benjamin Britten

Fleapit rebranded as Cinema Parasito

Sergei Prokofiev.

"Is this the wobbly table? I'll put my screenplay under this leg."

Artist paints UNDO icon onto canvas.

Ernie's Music. Ernie, you're opening a music store? Yep, I'm going to serve a niche market. I won't be selling CD's or any other digital music. I also won't be selling the old cassette or eight-track tapes. I'm only selling records. I'm catering to audiophiles who appreciate the unique sound quality they deliver. That's great! Are you going to adverties? Yeah, my tagline is "All sales vinyl"

'My best attribute? That would be my glottal stop.'

'Here's a song that's been done to death.'

'Milton, you really did make it to the other side!'

Ludwig van Beethoven

"These are my parents, the bingers. Mom binges on shows, and dad on food."

'He was offered a role in a sitcom and has the potential to be a successful child actor. We've already set up a legal defense fund.'

"How many times are young going to playback that last episode of 'Friends'?"

"The doctor says you can go home. We'll get cable."

Wow! He can hear a song just once and then play it? Yeah, he has a phonographic memory!

Workers cross boundaries to get an energy supply.

Benjamin Britten.

Wow, is that the new lithotripter? No, it's the new Dolby surround sound system, with extra-tech woofers.

Pub Quiz: 'I don't know much about history, don't know much biology ... but we'll be OK if there's a round on song lyrics.'