Sore Throat Survivor Pillows

'Gargle some of this every morning, and knock off the primal screaming for awhile.'

"Been following me around all morning. I think it's the new intern."

Evil Exams!

'What? You ate the gateau instead of throwing it into my face?? You insensitive, egotistical brute! You don't love me anymore!'

"Nous somme desir-eh, go, er, allez, erm, universitaire français, s'il vous plait."

'Unaccustomed as I am to public speaking...'

"If animals can be cloned, why can't homework be cloned?"

'I got a good place in my exams today. Right next to the radiator.'

"Homework! Homework! Homework! I'll be doing this for hours! Talk about a misspent youth."

"I've had enough sweets for one day."

"Is it just me, or is the pollen particularly bad this year?"

'As the intern, it'll be your job to work for free.'

"Roll over. Your Zs are looking like Ns."

"I'm a Doctor and I was in the house, but I have on stage presence."

'What's the diagnosis?' - '*Cough*' - 'It's not good, I'm afraid.' - 'Tell me. I have to know.' - 'You have man flu, Peel.' - 'Why, God? Why?!!' - 'I'm so sorry.' -

'These pajamas come with a flak jacket sewn into the lining to protect against the 'Stop Snoring' elbow in the ribs.'

'You see, I'm allergic to dog dander....'

Man sneezes and blows flowers out of painting.

Stage Fright.

'If you have a toothache, take the day off, you would be useless at work anyway...'

"I'm so nervous! I feel like you're all in my stomach."

"Well, yeah, Doc, I twisted my back a little...but it was the longest golf shot I've ever made!"

'I survived four Thanksgivings. I deserve to accompany you on the Veterans' Parade!'

'I said he could sleep with me... well... he's asleep.'

Fear of Public Speaking

"Our marriage will last a whole lot longer if you move and breathe minimally."

"How many, 'This will go right to my hips' in a jelly donut?"

I was in a menage a trois...until she ran off with our marriage guide counsellor!

'Now she's frightened of your snoring...'

Asthma cats

Using a runner to pull a tooth.